Boy 1 has ADHD and mild autism as many regular readers here know.
His ADHD is treated, not something we went into lightly but 2 weeks in we realised just what a difference it made. We now see quite a serious little boy and a lovely character.
The autism is an odd one. He is not classically autistic(many people think Rainman). In-fact you wouldn't single him out in a group of children and immediately say 'that child is not the same as others', it is only when you get to know him, or observe him for a time that you think he has a few quirks - he is a loner, he doesn't really know how to play with others, he can say some inappropriate things and have no idea why they are inappropriate, he takes things literally, he doesn't like a change to routine, and he finds it very difficult to control his emotions.
On a Tuesday evening Boy 2 plays football at a local field. Boy 1 happily takes himself off into the playground at the side and spends a very happy hour swinging from the top bar of the swings or sitting on the top most point of the climbing frame. Occasionally he will be seen messing around with another boy climbing trees.
Last Tuesday there were 3 or 4 older boys, maybe by a year or 2 playing with a football round the play equipment. I then noticed them throwing this ball at Boy 1 and hitting him and I could see even from a distance that he was getting upset. Each time he moved from one piece of equipment to the next they seem to follow him, trying to hit him with the ball.
I gestured for him to come over to me, he was upset, I told him to move away from them but it didn't work. I decided I needed to get involved when I saw Boy 1 climbing the fence into the football field in order to get away from this group of boys and the largest of them hitting him as he climbed with the ball.
I marched over, using my finger to call both the boy and my son over to me. In fairness the larger boy came over immediately saying 'he started it'. I assured him I wasn't going to shout at him but I did want to know from both of them what was going on. The larger boy said they had been playing dodge ball and asked Boy 1 if he wanted to join in, he had said yes, but then when they hit him with the ball he had got angry and started calling them idiots and throwing their ball away. I explained to him that Boy 1 obviously had not understood the rules of the games and sometimes had difficulty taking part in team games like that. Larger boy even apologised without any prompting. I trotted back to my football viewing thinking it had been sorted.
End of - or so I thought.
Nope, 10 minutes later I notice they are following Boy 1 wherever he goes. He sits on a swing, 2 of this group with then sit on the 2 swings either side of him. He jumps off and moves to the climbing frame, 2 follow him there. In the end I called Boy 1 out so he stood with me for the last 10 minutes.
I have to say I was pretty upset, there is only so much I can do, as I don't then want him teased that his mum is fighting his battles.
Last night saw us at the Football practice again and Boy 1 in the playground. The same group of boys were there and at first seem to be ignoring him. Half an hour in I suddenly realised he is running between equipment again and being followed and hit with a ball.
This time I charged in. There seems to be 2 lots involved, the first was much smaller than my boy and I asked him why he was throwing a ball at my son, he didn't say a word, I asked him if he thought it was nice, shook head, I asked if Boy 1 had done anything, shook head, so I pointed out he was no better than a bully. He then skulked off and was fine after that.
Same group from last week, I asked them why they were continuing to throw the ball at Boy 1's head, they said he kept kicking their ball away - I pointed out that last week they had been hitting him with it. so did it surprise them, all shook heads, told them as well they were verging on bullying him.
They then left him alone. Thing is Boy 1 has no idea what to do and how to handle it, he just ends up really upset and very angry.
I am at a loss, I don't want to stop him playing, I don't want him picked on as mummy is fighting his battles, even standing near the railings and letting the other kids know my presence didn't seem to do much.
Feeling very distressed seeing my boy treated like that by other kids and very helpless.
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Wednesday, 11 September 2013
Tuesday, 20 August 2013
This is My Child Campaign
I have just been reading on Mumsnet about the 'This is my Child Campaign'
I can't express how much I am behind it. After years of having a mis-understood child and feeling the isolation and stigma that goes with a child with a hidden disability it is a relief to see there is a campaign out there to raise awareness.
My own son has ADHD and mild autism. I have found that ADHD in itself carries a huge stigma and that I struggle to find other parents who admit their child has it or want to talk about it. It is part of my son, it makes him who he is. Yes life can be hard with him and as he gets older I am sure it will get harder but under the noise, screeching, running around, and general all over the place-ness, there is a very sensitive, loving boy who would go to the ends of this earth to help someone - no-one ever gives him the chance to see that person.
I hold my hands up and say we have him on medication - very much against what we believed in but hey we were wrong and within 2 weeks of starting a trial of medication we realised not only had it changed his life but our family life as well, it was the best move we ever made, people now 'see' our son, people understand him better. He actually asks for the tablets and says without them his brain whizzes round his head and he doesn't like it. its his choice and always will be. One thing medicating the ADHD did do though was allow the autistic traits to come to the surface, they were real and needed addressing but he will get on fine in life with them, with a little understanding.
Before we had diagnosis' we were labelled as parents who didn't discipline, parents who couldn't cope, a mother who shouldn't work and then perhaps her son wouldn't cry out for so much attention, a son who was a nightmare, a bully, always to blame (when often he wasn't but even at 4 and 5 yrs old other kids would blame him until one day he got the blame and wasn't even in school which made the teachers realise what was going on), always on the outside, never invited to parties, never invited to tea - it is simply heart-breaking, isolating and soul destroying all rolled into one. I stopped going anywhere for fear of how we would be viewed which I can tell you does nothing for your own self esteem and confidence, infact it destroys them.
The times I struggled with a baby while trying to sort my 3 or 4 year old out because he was doing something inappropriate, never once did someone ask if I needed help, but were all too happy to watch me struggle, and stare, or drag their own child away. The times I sat and cried alone, or with a screaming baby and pinned down toddler but still no-one asked if we were alright.
Please get behind this campaign and support it.
The below is copied from the This is my Child Campaign website
Hello,
As lots of you will already know, we've spent the last few months working on a new campaign called 'This Is My Child' - and it's launching on Monday. (We're letting you know about it now because there's a rather nice piece about in in the Guardian this weekend.)
You can read about the background to the campaign here, but in essence it's about myth-busting and awareness-raising - so we'd really love you all to share it as widely as possible. We've consulted with Mumsnetters and the material is supported by input from some of the leading charities in the field: Mencap, Contact A Family and Every Disabled Child Matters.
Over the years on Mumsnet, parents of children with SN have described how their lives are made more difficult by the occasional (or not-so-occasional) judginess of members of the public. They've described how this can contribute to their isolation, placing limits on their social opportunities because they can't face the stress and disapproval that comes with public interactions.
That's why we came up with This Is My Child. Its aim is to support parents of children with additional needs, inform everyone else, and open up a conversation about how we can all act together to make day-to-day life a bit easier for these families.
The input of parents caring for children with special needs has always provided a fascinating perspective for other MNers, encouraging empathy and giving real insight into what life can be like. We're hoping that our myth-busters, tips for non-experts and strategies for parents and carers, along with our background facts and figures, will help to bring the wisdom and perspective of Mumsnet SN posters to a wider audience.
So if you like what you read and think someone you know would find it interesting or useful, please share it as widely as you can (you'll find our impressively large sharing buttons on each page
).
And for the Tweeps among you, we'll be holding a Twitter party on the #ThisIsMyChild hashtag on Tuesday between 1pm and 2pm; please join in if you can.
As ever, we'd love to know your thoughts and hear your feedback, so please use this thread to post up anything that occurs to you.
Thanks
MNHQ
I can't express how much I am behind it. After years of having a mis-understood child and feeling the isolation and stigma that goes with a child with a hidden disability it is a relief to see there is a campaign out there to raise awareness.
My own son has ADHD and mild autism. I have found that ADHD in itself carries a huge stigma and that I struggle to find other parents who admit their child has it or want to talk about it. It is part of my son, it makes him who he is. Yes life can be hard with him and as he gets older I am sure it will get harder but under the noise, screeching, running around, and general all over the place-ness, there is a very sensitive, loving boy who would go to the ends of this earth to help someone - no-one ever gives him the chance to see that person.
I hold my hands up and say we have him on medication - very much against what we believed in but hey we were wrong and within 2 weeks of starting a trial of medication we realised not only had it changed his life but our family life as well, it was the best move we ever made, people now 'see' our son, people understand him better. He actually asks for the tablets and says without them his brain whizzes round his head and he doesn't like it. its his choice and always will be. One thing medicating the ADHD did do though was allow the autistic traits to come to the surface, they were real and needed addressing but he will get on fine in life with them, with a little understanding.
Before we had diagnosis' we were labelled as parents who didn't discipline, parents who couldn't cope, a mother who shouldn't work and then perhaps her son wouldn't cry out for so much attention, a son who was a nightmare, a bully, always to blame (when often he wasn't but even at 4 and 5 yrs old other kids would blame him until one day he got the blame and wasn't even in school which made the teachers realise what was going on), always on the outside, never invited to parties, never invited to tea - it is simply heart-breaking, isolating and soul destroying all rolled into one. I stopped going anywhere for fear of how we would be viewed which I can tell you does nothing for your own self esteem and confidence, infact it destroys them.
The times I struggled with a baby while trying to sort my 3 or 4 year old out because he was doing something inappropriate, never once did someone ask if I needed help, but were all too happy to watch me struggle, and stare, or drag their own child away. The times I sat and cried alone, or with a screaming baby and pinned down toddler but still no-one asked if we were alright.
Please get behind this campaign and support it.
The below is copied from the This is my Child Campaign website
Hello,
As lots of you will already know, we've spent the last few months working on a new campaign called 'This Is My Child' - and it's launching on Monday. (We're letting you know about it now because there's a rather nice piece about in in the Guardian this weekend.)
You can read about the background to the campaign here, but in essence it's about myth-busting and awareness-raising - so we'd really love you all to share it as widely as possible. We've consulted with Mumsnetters and the material is supported by input from some of the leading charities in the field: Mencap, Contact A Family and Every Disabled Child Matters.
Over the years on Mumsnet, parents of children with SN have described how their lives are made more difficult by the occasional (or not-so-occasional) judginess of members of the public. They've described how this can contribute to their isolation, placing limits on their social opportunities because they can't face the stress and disapproval that comes with public interactions.
That's why we came up with This Is My Child. Its aim is to support parents of children with additional needs, inform everyone else, and open up a conversation about how we can all act together to make day-to-day life a bit easier for these families.
The input of parents caring for children with special needs has always provided a fascinating perspective for other MNers, encouraging empathy and giving real insight into what life can be like. We're hoping that our myth-busters, tips for non-experts and strategies for parents and carers, along with our background facts and figures, will help to bring the wisdom and perspective of Mumsnet SN posters to a wider audience.
So if you like what you read and think someone you know would find it interesting or useful, please share it as widely as you can (you'll find our impressively large sharing buttons on each page
).And for the Tweeps among you, we'll be holding a Twitter party on the #ThisIsMyChild hashtag on Tuesday between 1pm and 2pm; please join in if you can.
As ever, we'd love to know your thoughts and hear your feedback, so please use this thread to post up anything that occurs to you.
Thanks
MNHQ
Tuesday, 4 June 2013
Crazy
I think that sums up life at the moment - Crazy. I don't have a moment to breath, let alone blog.
Since the beginning of May I have been travelling with work, 2 nights in Amsterdam for a meeting, 5 days later another 2 day meeting in Amsterdam, last week a 5 day meeting in Istanbul (thank god I am not there this week), tomorrow I head back to Amsterdam for yest another 2 day meeting, then hop straight over to Copenhagen for a 4 day meeting.
In between all of this I am also doing my regular mummy duties, dog walking duties, decorating the boys bedroom, training for the Great North Run in September and trying to find a reasonably priced gardener to come and tame the jungle that seems to have appeared outside the back door (please don't get me wrong, we are not rich or posh and have never had a gardener before and probably never will do again, but having done all these meetings, we are in a rare position of having a little extra cash and are realistic enough to realise that neither one of us has the time, knowledge or willpower to sort the garden - the idea being, get a keen gardener who wants a bit of cash in hand to sort it out and then we maintain - mmm right, that's the idea anyhow).
I am also in the process of stomping my authority with the school and refusing to be fobbed off and demanding my Little Man's lack of progress is recognised and looked into and I think we are making progress. The SENCO retired at Easter so I saw the deputy and the head and said I was worried and showed them his work books over the last 2-3 years and the lack of progress.
I expressed my shock when the headmistress actually utter the words 'perhaps we need to accept that Master E has reached his potential'- I don't think so love, and I think she regretting speaking them out loud. The deputy clearly got my upset (only someone with very thick skin and a lack of perception wouldn't have done) and said she would see what she could do.
The following week she rang me and said she had done some assessments and we had every right to be concerned (people did look strangely as a jumped around outside the headmistresses office doing a victory dance while chanting 'told you so' - no not really).
Long and short of it is, they have had the Autistic outreach team in to assess him which has lead to 3 visits from them, and an acknowledgement from them that he needs extra help, and I am currently waiting to speak to them having said we wanted to be involved.
So I had better get back on with the work I need to do towards these 2 meetings I need to fly off to, and get the rest of the painting done, then hopefully out for a run and dog walk all before picking the boys up.
Since the beginning of May I have been travelling with work, 2 nights in Amsterdam for a meeting, 5 days later another 2 day meeting in Amsterdam, last week a 5 day meeting in Istanbul (thank god I am not there this week), tomorrow I head back to Amsterdam for yest another 2 day meeting, then hop straight over to Copenhagen for a 4 day meeting.
In between all of this I am also doing my regular mummy duties, dog walking duties, decorating the boys bedroom, training for the Great North Run in September and trying to find a reasonably priced gardener to come and tame the jungle that seems to have appeared outside the back door (please don't get me wrong, we are not rich or posh and have never had a gardener before and probably never will do again, but having done all these meetings, we are in a rare position of having a little extra cash and are realistic enough to realise that neither one of us has the time, knowledge or willpower to sort the garden - the idea being, get a keen gardener who wants a bit of cash in hand to sort it out and then we maintain - mmm right, that's the idea anyhow).
I am also in the process of stomping my authority with the school and refusing to be fobbed off and demanding my Little Man's lack of progress is recognised and looked into and I think we are making progress. The SENCO retired at Easter so I saw the deputy and the head and said I was worried and showed them his work books over the last 2-3 years and the lack of progress.
I expressed my shock when the headmistress actually utter the words 'perhaps we need to accept that Master E has reached his potential'- I don't think so love, and I think she regretting speaking them out loud. The deputy clearly got my upset (only someone with very thick skin and a lack of perception wouldn't have done) and said she would see what she could do.
The following week she rang me and said she had done some assessments and we had every right to be concerned (people did look strangely as a jumped around outside the headmistresses office doing a victory dance while chanting 'told you so' - no not really).
Long and short of it is, they have had the Autistic outreach team in to assess him which has lead to 3 visits from them, and an acknowledgement from them that he needs extra help, and I am currently waiting to speak to them having said we wanted to be involved.
So I had better get back on with the work I need to do towards these 2 meetings I need to fly off to, and get the rest of the painting done, then hopefully out for a run and dog walk all before picking the boys up.
Saturday, 20 April 2013
A to Z Blogging Challenge O is for....
O is for Obsessions
Back to my little theme for this challenge which has been about Little man and ADHD and ASD. I had a little diversity the last few days due to personal family stuff but O is for obsessions.
One of the biggest clues that Little Man may be on the autistic spectrum was his obsessive behaviour. He would get fixated on one thing.
As a toddler it began with Thomas the Tank Engine DVDs. We didn't think much of it at the time, with him being our first we thought it was normal. He would watch his Thomas the Tank Engine DVD on repeat, and then get fixated for months on one episode. Even at the age of 2 he worked out how to rewind the DVD so he could go back to the start of this one particular episode (the one with 'Boulder' high up on the cliff watching the trains for anyone who might be interested!). Nothing else interested him. He would also get fixated on one toy which had to go everywhere with him, it was more than just having a favourite toy, and often it was a tiny silly toy - like a plastic tarydactyl that was meant to sit on top of a pencil.
He never got obsessed with lining toys up or things being in colour order which is a classic sign of autism so his obsessions were not something we initially picked up on, it is only looking back we realise it or as people starting mentioning it.
As he has got older he get obsessed with various things - about the age of 6 it was club penguin, he lived and breathed it, all drawings, all conversation, all play was club penguin, he literally was incapable of talking to you about anything else. This lasted about 2 years. From there we moved onto Moshi Monsters - this was a little briefer only about a year, the we had spongebob, and again went through wathcing the same one episode for months and we are now obsessed with Lego, we know everything there is to know about Lego. He has thousands of pieces and can look at one his brother has and know it belongs to him. He has a special box in his bed which his treasures go in and no-one can so much as touch this box.
Obsessions are quite hard to deal with as it is their sole interest. I have to admit we are quite thankful this latest one is something so normal, and something everyone else can actually relate to and talk to him about - Lego is the way forward!
Back to my little theme for this challenge which has been about Little man and ADHD and ASD. I had a little diversity the last few days due to personal family stuff but O is for obsessions.
One of the biggest clues that Little Man may be on the autistic spectrum was his obsessive behaviour. He would get fixated on one thing.
As a toddler it began with Thomas the Tank Engine DVDs. We didn't think much of it at the time, with him being our first we thought it was normal. He would watch his Thomas the Tank Engine DVD on repeat, and then get fixated for months on one episode. Even at the age of 2 he worked out how to rewind the DVD so he could go back to the start of this one particular episode (the one with 'Boulder' high up on the cliff watching the trains for anyone who might be interested!). Nothing else interested him. He would also get fixated on one toy which had to go everywhere with him, it was more than just having a favourite toy, and often it was a tiny silly toy - like a plastic tarydactyl that was meant to sit on top of a pencil.
He never got obsessed with lining toys up or things being in colour order which is a classic sign of autism so his obsessions were not something we initially picked up on, it is only looking back we realise it or as people starting mentioning it.
As he has got older he get obsessed with various things - about the age of 6 it was club penguin, he lived and breathed it, all drawings, all conversation, all play was club penguin, he literally was incapable of talking to you about anything else. This lasted about 2 years. From there we moved onto Moshi Monsters - this was a little briefer only about a year, the we had spongebob, and again went through wathcing the same one episode for months and we are now obsessed with Lego, we know everything there is to know about Lego. He has thousands of pieces and can look at one his brother has and know it belongs to him. He has a special box in his bed which his treasures go in and no-one can so much as touch this box.
Obsessions are quite hard to deal with as it is their sole interest. I have to admit we are quite thankful this latest one is something so normal, and something everyone else can actually relate to and talk to him about - Lego is the way forward!
Monday, 8 April 2013
A to Z Blogging Challenge - F is for.....
F is for Frustration
This is the definition given for frustration
This is the definition given for frustration
Noun
| ||
Friday, 5 April 2013
A to Z Blogging Challenge E is for....
E is for Education
Education is something my son is struggling with. He loves school to the point he cries every morning of the holidays as he wants to go, he loves the routine and knows exactly where he is and what he is doing - which is one reason they class him as being on the autistic spectrum. The holidays thrown him, the routine changes and he doesn't like it.
He is very keen to learn, he loves watching science programmes and then trying to recreate the experiments in my kitchen without me there (eek) and he is constantly asking questions to ask about things. His vocabulary and ability to hold a sensible conversation is also good, and in line with what you would expect for his age.
On paper however, it is a different matter. His reading age has been assessed as age 7 (he is 9), his spelling age 5.5 and they haven't even looked at his maths yet but lets just say he is still struggling with the basics and the 2 x table.
Frustratingly, there is little support. He will not qualify for a statement of educational need but he does need constant support to keep him focused and on-task. He doesn't even know his basic phonics, he cant tell you what sound 'ae' or 'oa' or 'er' make, which make spelling impossible for him. His homework is illegible but his teacher still gives him a star and tells him it is a lovely piece of work, well thought out etc, so he perceives this as doing well. While I understand to correct his work would be soul destroying surely they should be looking at it and seeing they need to work on his spelling and focus on common ones he can;t get.
There are reports to show that many children with ADHD are excluded from school, in some cases parents are being told to medicate their child or not send them to school - We are very fortunate not to be in this position, the school is very helpful.
A child in need of additional help should be put on an IEP - Individualised Education plan which gives them specific targets and works on areas of need. From an IEP, School Action Plus can be implemented.
These we have in place however the extra support he gets is dependent on what is available in school as he is not entitled to any specific funding. This for us is very frustrating as he is a bright little man who is struggling and being failed by the system, the way the rest of children are taught just does not suit him, I think he may be dyslexic as well and we are currently investigating this, but in the mean time he just falls further and further behind and there is only so much that can be done at home, by home time he is exhausted, not switched on and has had enough.
Education is something my son is struggling with. He loves school to the point he cries every morning of the holidays as he wants to go, he loves the routine and knows exactly where he is and what he is doing - which is one reason they class him as being on the autistic spectrum. The holidays thrown him, the routine changes and he doesn't like it.
He is very keen to learn, he loves watching science programmes and then trying to recreate the experiments in my kitchen without me there (eek) and he is constantly asking questions to ask about things. His vocabulary and ability to hold a sensible conversation is also good, and in line with what you would expect for his age.
On paper however, it is a different matter. His reading age has been assessed as age 7 (he is 9), his spelling age 5.5 and they haven't even looked at his maths yet but lets just say he is still struggling with the basics and the 2 x table.
Frustratingly, there is little support. He will not qualify for a statement of educational need but he does need constant support to keep him focused and on-task. He doesn't even know his basic phonics, he cant tell you what sound 'ae' or 'oa' or 'er' make, which make spelling impossible for him. His homework is illegible but his teacher still gives him a star and tells him it is a lovely piece of work, well thought out etc, so he perceives this as doing well. While I understand to correct his work would be soul destroying surely they should be looking at it and seeing they need to work on his spelling and focus on common ones he can;t get.
There are reports to show that many children with ADHD are excluded from school, in some cases parents are being told to medicate their child or not send them to school - We are very fortunate not to be in this position, the school is very helpful.
A child in need of additional help should be put on an IEP - Individualised Education plan which gives them specific targets and works on areas of need. From an IEP, School Action Plus can be implemented.
These we have in place however the extra support he gets is dependent on what is available in school as he is not entitled to any specific funding. This for us is very frustrating as he is a bright little man who is struggling and being failed by the system, the way the rest of children are taught just does not suit him, I think he may be dyslexic as well and we are currently investigating this, but in the mean time he just falls further and further behind and there is only so much that can be done at home, by home time he is exhausted, not switched on and has had enough.
Thursday, 4 April 2013
A to Z Blogging Challenge D is for......
D is for Diagnosis
Despite the thinking that ADHD is a very overdiagnosed condition and an excuse for poor behaviour, getting a diagnosis is infact not easy and a long process.
Our son displayed all signs of ADHD from the age of about 2 but we had to bang our heads against brick walls until he was 6 as they refuse to do any testing before this age. Nope sorry I lie. we do have written in a letter that we were a rare, special case where they had agreed to test prior to his 6th birthday but it wasn't the norm. That would be a full 19 days before his 6th birthday which as it is at Christmas, meant the final diagnosis was held up until after the holiday period so probably no quicker than if we had waited.
First referrals need to be made after numerous (make that 100s) of visits to your GP and health visitor.
You then see either the Child Development Centre or your local CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) which one will depend on their structure. We skipped the CDC as our CAMHS had a paediatrician and child psychologist. However, there is normally a huge waiting list
The nursery or school also need to have highlighted concerns.
Your child will then be assessed to ensure there is no other reason for their behaviour, a physical examination carried out, intelligence tests etc, family background and circumstances are looked at and their teachers contacted.
Following this diagnostic tests known as DSM-IV (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders,, 4th edition) is used and the Connor questionnaire for parents and teachers
The fact sheet published by ADDISS fully explains the different types of behaviour and symptoms your child must be displaying in order to even be considered for a diagnosis. It is an interesting read.
Despite the thinking that ADHD is a very overdiagnosed condition and an excuse for poor behaviour, getting a diagnosis is infact not easy and a long process.
Our son displayed all signs of ADHD from the age of about 2 but we had to bang our heads against brick walls until he was 6 as they refuse to do any testing before this age. Nope sorry I lie. we do have written in a letter that we were a rare, special case where they had agreed to test prior to his 6th birthday but it wasn't the norm. That would be a full 19 days before his 6th birthday which as it is at Christmas, meant the final diagnosis was held up until after the holiday period so probably no quicker than if we had waited.
First referrals need to be made after numerous (make that 100s) of visits to your GP and health visitor.
You then see either the Child Development Centre or your local CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) which one will depend on their structure. We skipped the CDC as our CAMHS had a paediatrician and child psychologist. However, there is normally a huge waiting list
The nursery or school also need to have highlighted concerns.
Your child will then be assessed to ensure there is no other reason for their behaviour, a physical examination carried out, intelligence tests etc, family background and circumstances are looked at and their teachers contacted.
Following this diagnostic tests known as DSM-IV (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders,, 4th edition) is used and the Connor questionnaire for parents and teachers
The fact sheet published by ADDISS fully explains the different types of behaviour and symptoms your child must be displaying in order to even be considered for a diagnosis. It is an interesting read.
Wednesday, 3 April 2013
A to Z blogging Challenge - C is for......
C is for Coping and Challenges!
ADHD and autism have brought with it difficult times, finding methods to cope and over come challenges.
We always knew deep down something wasn't quite right with Little Man - but that day someone actually said it, I suddenly realised I needed to learn coping mechanisms.
To hear the words that your 3 year old 'may have learning difficulties and is showing autistic traits' is devastating. I walked across that playground and didn't even bother to control the tears, I then sat for about an hour in the car crying picturing the lovely trolley collector at our local Sainsbury's who you heard people talking about and saying how well he was doing, they had heard he was living independently, had a job etc. At that point in time, in my mind, that was my son's future.
But you cope, you overcome the challenges, you seek help from places like CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services), the Child Development Centre, the doctor, his consultant. You try and see all positives - mine were:
My Little Man amazes me day in and day out, and I couldn't be more proud of the beautiful, sweet natured, caring boy he is growing into.
ADHD and autism have brought with it difficult times, finding methods to cope and over come challenges.
We always knew deep down something wasn't quite right with Little Man - but that day someone actually said it, I suddenly realised I needed to learn coping mechanisms.
To hear the words that your 3 year old 'may have learning difficulties and is showing autistic traits' is devastating. I walked across that playground and didn't even bother to control the tears, I then sat for about an hour in the car crying picturing the lovely trolley collector at our local Sainsbury's who you heard people talking about and saying how well he was doing, they had heard he was living independently, had a job etc. At that point in time, in my mind, that was my son's future.
But you cope, you overcome the challenges, you seek help from places like CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services), the Child Development Centre, the doctor, his consultant. You try and see all positives - mine were:
- As a premature baby he was still under a consultant - a foot in the right door for help
- As a premature baby who we nearly lost more than once to be on the autistic spectrum with mild learning difficulties was actually pretty good going when you consider what could have been
- As a scientist, I at least understand, have databases of medical journals at my finger tips and lots of friends in the medical field, I was going to bang on as many doors as possible.
My Little Man amazes me day in and day out, and I couldn't be more proud of the beautiful, sweet natured, caring boy he is growing into.
Tuesday, 2 April 2013
A-Z Blogging Challenge B is for ......
B is for Behaviour
Definition in the Oxford Dictionary - the way in which one acts or conducts oneself, especially towards others
Behaviour is something that is paramount in children with ADHD and/or ASD.
Children with ADHD find it hard to control their behaviour and/or pay attention. An ADHD child will act without thinking, can display hyperactivity, and have trouble focusing and concentrating.
The expression 'live for the moment' sums my Little Man up totally. He has no thought process about what he is going to do, he thinks it and does it in the same moment. There are no 4 seconds between the thought and the action or 4 seconds after. He simply lives in the moment. After he has done something he can give you every reason under the sun why he shouldn't have done, or why it may have been dangerous, he completely understands, however, he does not have the thought processes to think about doing something, then think of the consequences, and then act. His brain is wired differently to ours.
Children on the autistic spectrum can display some challenging behaviours due to changes in routine, being over sensitive or under sensitive, being very tactile and needing to touch or place inedible objects in their mouth, hand flapping or simply having what appear to be tantrums through sheer frustration or violent behaviour.
Living with a child with one, or the other or both can be very challenging.
Many of the behaviours displayed though are a normal process of growing up, toddlers go through many stages, so at what stage do the alarm bells ring and you think 'actually this is not normal'?
A diagnosis of ADHD requires the following:
• the behaviour is demonstrated to a degree that is more severe than other kids the same age
• the behaviour appears before the age of seven
• the behaviour continues for at least six months
• the behaviour creates problems in at least two area's of life: home, school, daycare, playground
For us we knew from a very early age, at a year old, I was mortified when I collected Little Man from the childminder to be told he had taken to biting. She was very calm about it and reassured me it was normal and he was just discovering things and it would soon pass. It didn't. He didn't seem to understand being told off, he had no comprehension. From biting he moved to hair pulling, then pinching, then spitting, you name it, at some point he has had it in his repertoire. He could have almighty melt downs over seemingly small things - roadworks leading to a diversion - that took us about a week to work out, change in place at the table to eat, holidays. He was very tactile, he would start to stroke strangers hairs, anybodies hair. He would dive into buggies to kiss babies, he couldn't just sit next to you but had to be almost sitting on top of you. Despite all this, he is a very serious little boy, with a lovely sense of humour and one of the most loving, caring little men you could wish to know.
Behaviour has been hard, we are coming out the other side (for now) at the age of 9, he is learning boundaries, albeit slowly but he is learning. Over - learning is the key to everything!
Definition in the Oxford Dictionary - the way in which one acts or conducts oneself, especially towards others
Behaviour is something that is paramount in children with ADHD and/or ASD.
Children with ADHD find it hard to control their behaviour and/or pay attention. An ADHD child will act without thinking, can display hyperactivity, and have trouble focusing and concentrating.
The expression 'live for the moment' sums my Little Man up totally. He has no thought process about what he is going to do, he thinks it and does it in the same moment. There are no 4 seconds between the thought and the action or 4 seconds after. He simply lives in the moment. After he has done something he can give you every reason under the sun why he shouldn't have done, or why it may have been dangerous, he completely understands, however, he does not have the thought processes to think about doing something, then think of the consequences, and then act. His brain is wired differently to ours.
Children on the autistic spectrum can display some challenging behaviours due to changes in routine, being over sensitive or under sensitive, being very tactile and needing to touch or place inedible objects in their mouth, hand flapping or simply having what appear to be tantrums through sheer frustration or violent behaviour.
Living with a child with one, or the other or both can be very challenging.
Many of the behaviours displayed though are a normal process of growing up, toddlers go through many stages, so at what stage do the alarm bells ring and you think 'actually this is not normal'?
A diagnosis of ADHD requires the following:
• the behaviour is demonstrated to a degree that is more severe than other kids the same age
• the behaviour appears before the age of seven
• the behaviour continues for at least six months
• the behaviour creates problems in at least two area's of life: home, school, daycare, playground
For us we knew from a very early age, at a year old, I was mortified when I collected Little Man from the childminder to be told he had taken to biting. She was very calm about it and reassured me it was normal and he was just discovering things and it would soon pass. It didn't. He didn't seem to understand being told off, he had no comprehension. From biting he moved to hair pulling, then pinching, then spitting, you name it, at some point he has had it in his repertoire. He could have almighty melt downs over seemingly small things - roadworks leading to a diversion - that took us about a week to work out, change in place at the table to eat, holidays. He was very tactile, he would start to stroke strangers hairs, anybodies hair. He would dive into buggies to kiss babies, he couldn't just sit next to you but had to be almost sitting on top of you. Despite all this, he is a very serious little boy, with a lovely sense of humour and one of the most loving, caring little men you could wish to know.
Behaviour has been hard, we are coming out the other side (for now) at the age of 9, he is learning boundaries, albeit slowly but he is learning. Over - learning is the key to everything!
Monday, 1 April 2013
A-Z Challenge A is for......
A is for ADHD
There are still some schools of thought that ADHD is a myth,
an excuse for poor parenting/bad behaviour/, and as a parent of an ADHD child I
have come across many other parents who don’t see it as a real condition and
have had to hear muttered comments such as ‘nothing a bit of discipline
wouldn’t sort out’, ‘a good smacked bum would help’, ‘perhaps if she (meaning
me) didn’t work, he would be better behaved’ and many more.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
 |
| www.ADHD.org.nz |
I am not disputing the fact that today we see many, many
more cases than we did say 20 years ago, but is that to do with knowledge and
better diagnosis? In the 1960’s ADHD was known as Minimal Brain Dysfunction, in
the 1970’s conditions didn’t have names – my husband himself lasted 3 weeks in
his reception class before my in-laws were told the school couldn’t cope with
him and he spent a few years at a ‘special’ school before returning to
mainstream – he has never had a diagnosis of ADHD, but I would bet my bottom
dollar on him still being diagnosed as a 40 year old. It does go to show
however it needn’t affect your life – my husband has a successful career and a
degree before that.
Like many parents living with a child with ADHD or one who
they know is not neurotypical but no-one will listen, we have suffered extreme
frustration in trying to make people understand ADHD, being told by doctors it
is bad parenting, bad behaviour, the terrible twos, then the terrible threes,
home circumstances, or starting nursery etc, they always find a reason but as a
parent you know, trust me, you know when your child is not behaving as his
peers.
ADHD is infact a biological condition caused by an imbalance of the chemicals in the brain’s neurotransmitters. It affects the frontal lobes of the brain which is where impulsive behaviour control is. It is hereditary and long term, although symptoms do modify with age.There are three main forms of ADHD:
- Overactive and impulsive (hyperactive)
- Inattentive
- Combined
ADHD can have a huge impact on not only the child’s life but
also that of the family. Both our son and us as a family have been ostracised
by others as no-one wanted to understand or get to know us. Our son is
currently 9, and can hold his own in a conversation and has a firm
comprehension of things around him and subjects. On paper however, he is functioning
at the level of about a 6 year old with reading, writing and maths as he
struggles to concentrate long enough to learn. He is an intelligent little boy
but sadly he needs someone to continually bring him back to focus and the lack
of resources and the lack of recognition of ADHD as a disability means he gets
little support.
Symptoms can be difficult to recognise as ADHD often overlaps
with other conditions such as conduct disorder, obsessive disorders, anxiety,
dyspraxia and autism – which also affects our son. Social interaction and
ability to maintain friends can be impaired.
ADHD is hard for any family to live with and a greater
understanding and recognition of the condition would go a long way to improve
the lives of anyone affected by it.
I also wanted to add a huge thank to ARLEE BIRD who started this blogging challenge and allowed do many of us to connect so THANK YOU!
I also wanted to add a huge thank to ARLEE BIRD who started this blogging challenge and allowed do many of us to connect so THANK YOU!
What I have written here are my views and my experiences and
understanding as a parent, although I do not deny having read many books,
magazine articles and trawled the internet gathering information over the
years.
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