Do you know, I think blogging actually makes me feel low and down in the dumps and quite frankly leaves me feeling a tad depressed?
Does that sound weird?
Am I alone in this?
let me explain. I started blogging probably as a release and probably as I felt quite isolated and lonely. I 'met' some lovely people, I gained followers, I interacted with people, but then I found if I blogged and didn't get comments or reads I felt really down, as if no-one cared, and found I was obsessively checking to see if anyone found me interesting.
I still blogged though for a couple of years and it has really helped me through some tough times even though I didn't specifically blog about them. Certain people like the crew from GroovyMum and Sarah Mac and BareNakedMummy to name a few have been a huge support.
I recently took a long break and in that time I not only took a step back from blogging but a lot of other things to and I have felt like a different person, much happier, much more sociable, much more relaxed despite a hectic work schedule which I am struggling to juggle over the summer.
The other day I decided it was high time to check back in and get back to blogging but 4 days back in and I have spent today as low as they come. The boys are in kids club so I could do some work but instead I have procrastinated all day, arsed around, done fuck all really other than sit with stupid scenarios playing in my head something I have not done for months and months.
Is it a coincidence that this has happened once I start blogging again or is it simply due to lack of sleep last night (as the boys were going to bed there was a horrendous smell of burning from within the house which we couldn't locate, and it eventually went by itself, I think it may have been a moth that got too close to a light but I don't know. Anyhow our smoke detector is wired into the electrics and I spent all night wondering how we would know if it was working or not, after all we never test it, we were told we didn't need to).
So does blogging actually depress me? I am not sure.....
1 comment:
Hello RP! Interesting question. I can understand where you are coming from in some ways here. I do think that blogging is a bit of a continuity game ie, the more you write/comment on other's blogs, the more you get back from it. Which is great but we don't always have the time to be continually reading and commenting on other blogs, tweeting, RTing, writing our own posts. I think it is natural to write something and want some sort of self-validation / comments, if not, we'd all be writing personal 'closed' diaries. That said, I do think for every blogger, there will always be the die hard core fans that pop up and wave hello when a new post is issued from one of their faves - however long it's been since the last post.
It's a tricky balance I find, in terms of keeping one's hand 'in' and not becoming over immersed. I've got a lot better at it and these days I am less worried about number of comments / page views, but I think in part, that is due to the fact that my focus of what I want to blog about has changed. Nowadays I see it more as a personal memoir to look back on in later life( *when I'm too old/drunk to remember*), so I think I am writing more for myself for the future, than maybe just for the people reading.
Anyway, It sounds like you've had a fab time away from the blog. Lovely to read you again. x
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