So the thing that no-one wants to be in their life has happened in our family.
My dad was told 10 days ago he has bladder cancer which has come as a shock to us all.
On the positive side, 70% of cases are early stage and a simple operation to scrape the tumour away and a pellet of high dose chemotherapy direct into the bladder, is often enough to resolve the issue, followed by 3 monthly checks and a repeat of this procedure as and when required. The average age of diagnosis is 69 years old and my dad was 70 last week. So, in reality the odds are in his favour.
We are obviously very worried though, and up until today I was feeling very positive about it.
Dad though looks grey, it is pure worry, I know he must be scared shitless.
He also got a urine infection following the initial camera stuck up inside him to look at the bladder and it knocked him for 6. He was really quite poorly, another unheard of for my Dad, the person that normally carries on regardless.
They have just popped in now to see me, and he is so down, no matter how hard he is trying not to show it, the worry and fear is etched over his face.
Suddenly he looks every one of his 70 years.
Wednesday he had a CT scan to check for anything else.
Yesterday he was apparently called back to the hospital as his kidney function test bloods had come back showing a problem, so they wanted to repeat it. This was done, and still it wasn't right so he then had to see a consultant, who is unsure why the results are high.
It could be the medication he takes for his diabetes has reacted with the medication he had for the urine infection. It could just be due to the urine infection or it could be to do with the cancer, he has told me today, they have now said the tumour (no longer cancerous cells) is right at the entry to the bladder from the kidneys so could be causing a blockage.
He has also been told he has a heart mummer which needs reviewing before they operate next week. This heart mummer could be due to the diabetes medication or might not be.
Everything seems to be 'possibly due to the diabetes medication'
As I said I was really quite positive until today, but seeing him, seeing how worried he is has really worried me.
I am taking comfort in the fact that if the CT scan had shown anything else like shadows in his lung or bowel or liver, they wouldn't go ahead with a simple bladder scrape but would rather be getting him in front of the consultant to discuss further and other investigations.