Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Its a conspiracy!

I honestly think there was / is a conspiracy against me getting sleep!

9.45 pm - I was exhausted yesterday, and decided about 9.45 an early night was in order, so I began shutting down the PC, as I was doing so 2 emails popped in from work, one which I felt was better to deal with there and then and set to send at 8.30 so it was dealt with first thing (if I wait until the morning it won;t be done until after the school run).

10.00 pm - I then toddled downstairs to make the last drink of the night and decided to sit and drink it with t'hubby who had come home in a foul mood and very stressed about work. We had a chat and went through his day and what had gone wrong, by which time it was 10.55.

10.55 pm - I said my good nights still relishing that I would get 8 hours sleep as I was not getting up early to do work and could get out of bed at 7.15 (8 hours is rare for me). I had literally put my foot on the bottom step when t'hubby jumped up in a blind panic and started ranting about forgetting he needed to know about ghant charts and time lines for a big meeting the next day and begging me to go through them with me as I use them - arggghhhh. I did so but this took us until 11.50. So my early night was not so early, however I hung grimly onto the fact I was getting a sleep in (for me anyhow!).

11.50pm - eventually get to bed.

6.10am this morning Mini man appears and climbs into bed.

6.20 am t'hubby gets up to go to the loo

6.25am Little Man appears and climbs into bed too, apart from there is little room so stretches across my feet.

6.35 am - all of us are clearly awake and t'hubby announces he needs to be up at 6.45 sand could I kick him out of bed, at which point I gave up and got up!

Tonight, I am not so tired but decided I would attempt another early night.

7.00 pm I go into the kitchen to clear up and notice a tiny white box sitting on top of my iPod dock, on closer inspection it appears someone has delivered a brand, spanking new iPod nano to me!!  I am a very happy girl at the mo. t'hubby has got me one.

So here I am at 10.45 desperately trying to download some music onto it - so bang goes another early night but for exciting reasons this time!

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Lego Starwars cake

Little Man's latest obsession is LEGO, specifically LEGO Starwars, he is desperately saving all his money to get the next thing which at £2.50 pocket money a week will take him ages, so we have relented slightly and now on his reward system he can choose a money instead of a treat so he can build his funds a little faster.

At the weekend we had his birthday party and he asked me for a LEGO cake - I did a little google on these and decided an R2D2 would be within my expertise and got myself all geared up for it.  As i began to bake Little Man appeared with this
And asked me to make a Star Trooper cake - I was a little taken aback as I had R2D2 set in my head but never one to let my little man down, I took on the task!

And so the sculpting, cutting and icing began, I started off with a few square and round cakes and started to cut them out to form the basic shape. The initial bit looks like  duck but bear with me!
I then did a bit of building and building it up to get the basic shape.

I was left with a hell of a lot of spare cake, which is the down side of making a cake like this as you can see below and none of us like trifle so I am afraid this went to waste which I don't like, so if anyone has a good idea of what to do with spare things which doesn;t involve cold, slimy custard then please say!
And finally after a couple of hours of work I got the below which I have to say I was very happy with and my Little Man was over joyed with which made it worthwhile doing.  We had his party at Pizza Hut and did a make your own pizza party, which they all loved, they are a fab idea, but I have to confess to growing about 10 inches and feeling incredibly proud when the waiter took the cake behind the counter and I heard him calling the other waiters and saying 'come over here and look at this cake, its awsome'.

Monday, 27 February 2012

iPod nano, iPod touch, iPod shuffle, iPod classic, iPhone - argggghhhh

OK folks I need some help. As I have mentioned I am 'meant' to be running a half marathon in April and I really, really want to do it, although my training is well behind schedule which is not good news.

In the past I use to run with my iPod touch and I loved it. I didn't have a smart phone at the time so my iPod touch was a substitute as it did everything but the phone bit -t'hubby broke it though so I am now without my music to run.

I currently have a HTC Desire phone which I hate with a passion, it is the biggest pile of poo I have ever owned. I charge it nightly and it is dead by 2pm the next day and I hardly use it a few phone calls and checking my facebook mainly.Vodafone have been great, they have replaced the battery, had it back looked at it, told me they had found fault and done stuff but to no avail, they have sent free stuff, put things on my account to apologise but it is still rubbish. I am due for an upgrade in April and am literally counting my days down. But that brings me to my dilemma

Do I get an iPhone and will it double as an iPod for me, is it capable of letting me play music on it and if so how much? I am interested in hearing about other people's experiences as I do not want the same to happen for the next 2 years and be lumber with a phone I hate.  Its the music bit though that I am unsure about.

I really want something I can listen to my music on and run with but am riled to go and buy an iPod of any description if my new phone can do the job,

On the other side of the coin if I get a music device do I get an iPod nano, iPod classic or iPod shuffle which one best. It is a mine field, I read reviews and am still not sure - can anyone help with their advice please!

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Reasons to be Cheerful

As my recent posts have suggested by all their doom and gloom, I have been finding things tough going recently. I always make mention of R2BC as it always makes me see the positives but I have to admit there have been a few weeks I have shied away from even trying to think of those. This week though, I am on an up and I hope it lasts so my reasons:

  1. I have had some fantastic and am still getting fantastic support on here,  so thank you.
  2. The sun has been shining today
  3. I am completing a last bit of work tonight after which things may calm down a little (even if I suspect I am going to have to pull a bit of an all nighter to get it done)
  4. I am having lunch tomorrow with a friend I have known since I was 3
  5. The said friend above welcomed me back to my home town 18 months ago, and invited me to a night round at a friends of hers to introduce me to a group of other mum's from the school. Last week I was text by one of these mum's to ask if I was up for a girly night at hers, when I text my old friend to ask if she was going she had only just heard about it, which gave me a real confidence boost - I was invited as me, not as her friend.
  6. t'hubby and I took a trip down memory lane over half term and took the boys to Liverpool which is where we met at University. we revisited all our old houses, old bars, even the student union and yes we did wonder in and have a good look around! We trod the same paths we had as student recalling lots of good times and it has done us both wonders, it really reminded us of good times, and of us.
  7. I took the bull by the horn and went to the doctors about how I have been feeling. I am not entirely sure it is the right outcome yet but I am willing to go with it for now
  8. I love my boys to the moon and back - I look at them and realise infact I am the luckiest person alive
Now pop over and include your own reasons to be cheerful x

Dolly Donations

This is a very quick post. I have just seen this on my facebook page called Dolly Donations. it is a drive to make Dolls for children who have nothing and to get them sent to places like Africa, Brazil and to give the children something to love, something to keep as their own. The lady running this has provided a free pattern and explains all about it and I think it is a fantastic idea. Her aim is to provide 200 dolls but if you think about as many people as possible making just one doll, it could run into the thousands and sadly their are 1000's of these children in need.

I would like to get involved, I know for me time is an issue but perhaps making something like this would be good for relaxation. I am going to find out if there is a local dolly drive near me and see if I can get involved.

Can you help too?

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Divine Chocolate

Last week I received the most fantastic gift through the post any woman could receive thanks to a competition that I won over at Kate on thin ice. I got a box of Divine chocolate and it is amazing!

This is what was first delivered and I was greeted with.

This was the contents - a massive 30 bars of chocolate (white choc and strawberry (VERY nice), dark choc with ginger and orange, plain dark choc, milk choc with hazelnuts, dark choc with raspberry, and dark choc and mint), 4 boxes of hearts ( 2 white chocolate and strawberry, 2 milk chocolate), 2 boxes of dark chocolate salted fudge, 2 boxes of mint h=choc hearts, 2 boxes of divine after eights, it is amazing and it is all absolutely yum!

Thank you so much Kate for the chance to win this competition and thank you so much Divine chocolate for a fabulous prize. I have sampled the ginger and orange one and it is very nice, you can;t really taste either the ginger or orange neither are overpowering but having said that the combination is lovely. The white choc and strawberry is so nice, its amazing. The dark choc and mint, I have barely had a chance to taste as t'husband likes it. The ilk choc hearts are really nice as well,very creamy. I have yet to try the raspberry one but am looking forwards to it. I believe there is more in their range, which can be viewed here this will also give you a history of their chocolate, which is all fair trade by the way.

This is not a sponsored post, I just wanted to share my enjoyment at this prize!

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Another last minute Groovy mum's post!

And here she comes screeching in at the last minute with her Grooving mum's weekly post trying desperately to get it in before this weeks comes out - oops

So this last week has actually been better. I resolved that I had to go to the doctors and sort myself out, I also got myself some St Johns Wart and have been taking it properly and think I am beginning to feel better for it. The doctors was this morning and it was running an hour late. I totally opened up for the first time in 3 years and told her the root of my problem and explained that I don;t think taking anything other than the St Johns Wart will be of help as I need to tackle how I am feeling first. Problem is how can they help, its not quite that straightforward and any old councillor will not do, anything that is more specialised is private and that costs money which we don't have spare, so real catch 22 situation. She was really only interested in getting me to fill in depression scores and wants me back in a few weeks so we can discuss medication. Its the talking, the counselling I really want but hey ho, I need to tackle this so I will go back in 2 weeks and see her.

Last Friday we had a family day out and went over to Liverpool which is where me and t'husband met and did a massive trip down memory lane which was brilliant. We went round all our old houses (much to the distress of the boys!), walked all our old walks, popped into the student union which hasn't changed at all, went into the nightclub bit and that has changed slightly and t'husband dragged the boys over to where the stage use to be and told them that he met me in this exact spot, he was sat there, I came up the steps over there and he saw me and got a mutal friend to introduce us - it was lovely to hear actually. We then hit the town centre which wow has changed so much, it is so much bigger now and really been rejuvanated. Finally we treked down to the docks and had a walk round and reminised about Fred and his weather map and the bonfire night fireworks displays we use to watch down there.  All in all we had a fab day out (very expensive as we also saw and bought a new dining room suite but thats another story!), and best of all I think we both needed it. It has really help rekindle some of the old us, made us remember our roots as such and where we came from together as a couple. Sometimes its good to return to the start of things and remind ourselves of the simple things.

Body – do you love or loathe your body? Celebrate the fact you are a mum by posting here
I really don't like my body at the moment. While I am not big and I know many would say they would love to have my body shape, for me it is flabby, something I am not use to. Until about 4 years ago, I was slim and very toned, now I am slimish but with a flabby belly, wobbly thighs, muffin tops, rolls when I sit down, and I hate it with a passion but do I do anything about it, nope, that cake, or biscuits or chocolate bar always wins hands down.

2. Mind – who is setting the standard? Is it too high or too low?
My standards or myself are very high and I let it get to me when I fail to meet them, perhaps I need to learn to lower those standards.

3. Spirit – take time out today to reflect on lost loved ones and to remember those for whom Valentine’s Day will be particularly sad this year.
This has been done and I did send a text to my best friend who is divorced to tell her I loved her!

4. Blogging – write a love letter and post it.
I am going to do this and post later in the week.

5. Special Days – It is Valentine’s Day. Show yourself some love this week. Buy yourself some flowers or do for yourself what you can imagine the world’s best partner doing for you. Why not? Go on, do it and see how it feels.

I did buy myself some flowers and do so every now and again when I am feeling flush. I have always said to t'husband that I will know when we have disposable income and are comfortable, I would like to buy fresh flowers every week

6. The Big Question – Do you love yourself? If yes, tell us how and why. If not, why not?
It’s time to feel the love, write a blog post and link up. Please share the love by visiting the bloggers who join in and leaving a supporting comment.
I am trying to love myself, trying very hard and think I am making progress.

So onwards and upwards!

Say it like it is son!

Little man is doing lessons for his first communion. He has been given a book and he has to fill it in weekly and do things for an hour while at his lesson with about 30 other children.

This week they were learning about forgiveness, saying sorry and doing kind things. On one page of his book he was asked to draw a picture of him doing something kind. Now Little Man struggles with imagining some things and he struggled with this so someone decided to tell him to do something like him 'getting a drink for someone else'

Little Man draws this:

 I am mortified. Explanation: Me getting mummy a drink at the bar!

Monday, 20 February 2012

Blogger Q & A

Kate on Thin Ice has tagged me in a Q & A meme.  The idea is that the person who tags you makes their own set of questions that they want answered.  Then once you've answered them, you get to make up your own questions and tag your own favourite bloggers to answer them!  That never goes stale.
 Here are the questions that I am asked to tackle.
1. If you could wave a magic wand and change one thing about mums' lives today, what would it be and why?
Cheaper childcare and more flexible working patterns (although these are always improving). All companies should make a provision or join together with other companies to help out with a childcare centre which is subsidised. Having a woman back in the work place, relaxed and able to do her job well must be more cost effective than employing someone new and getting the same level of experience.

2. How many hours or minutes of housework do you do per day?
Hum that depends on how busy I am with work - I clean my kitchen daily and my bathroom as a matter of course, but then I make beds daily, tidy clothes and toys daily, clean up after breakfast and tea daily which all counts, and I seem to be on a endless merry-go-round of picking up and tidying - he cushions appear to like life better on the floor and somehow 'jump' off the sofa by themselves as soon as put them back on.

3. If you could change careers, what would you change to?
I would invest in a sandwich shop/cafe and also do cakes as a sideline or something arty

4. What is your favourite cocktail?
Sex on the beach

5. What is your claim to fame?
I was on BBC breakfast a few years ago to help promote a Fairy campaign for premature babies, I have also sat and spent a whole night drinking with Chris Moyles and team and just thought they were friendly guys and didn't realise who they were - durrhhh.

6. What is the quirkiest object in your home?
That's a hard one - I have a wooden picture of people of and mud huts all carved into wood, which I love, I then have loads of quirky things which i have picked up on my travels, like a lump of lava from Mount Etna, a traditional Guatemalan ashtray, a tiny pig candle light holder, a Chinese ornament that use to be my Grannie's and came from the ship my grandfather grew up on (his father was a captain and sailed the world and had his family on board with him),

7. Charity Shop Or Designer Boutique?
Charity shop, I love the idea of designer boutiques but then get in there think the clothes are not worth the money and often find them all a bit odd!

8. How many hours of the day are you away from your own house?
NEVER! No I lie a 5 minute walk to school in the morning and again at 3,30 and that is about it, I live and work in the same place which I am beginning to feel is not the best situation as appealing as it sounds at first.

9. What is your guilty pleasure?
Wine and a red hot bath with a book

10. Retro or Modern?
Depends what it is  I like both dependent on situation

11. What is the one challenge you are most proud of overcoming?
Running, I have never been able to run more than 100 yards and can now do 4 miles comfortably - this I need to increase quite rapidly if I am ever to run a half marathon in April - eek.

So I now have to think of 11 questions and tag 11 bloggers - so lets see

1. Why do you blog?
2. What is your favourite time of day and why?
3. If you could set yourself a challenge this year what would it be?
4. What would be your dream destination for a holiday?
5. Gold or silver?
6. What is your biggest achievement?
7. If you could have your time again would you change anything?
8. Do you have any regrets?
9. If you have a big birthday approaching, have you got anything you want to achieve before it?
10. If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you did?
11. What has been your most embarrassing moment?

Now I tag:
A matter of choice
Deb at Aspieinthefamily
TheWoodland Watcher

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

The simple things in life...

Yet another quick post from me, but hopefully work will calm down a little from tomorrow afternoon and I will have a little extra time, not alot in the words of a certain magician but some.

Today as we all know is Valentine's day, loved by some, hated by others and non- descript for many! We fall into the 3rd category. T'husband has always claimed that he doesn't need a calendar date to tell me he loves me and thinks it is over commercialised. We normally just do a card, some times we go for a meal, and on a few occasions I have been surprised by a bunch of roses to work. But we never make a big thing of it, and I never expect anything.

This morning we did our usual exchange of cards, I gave him a little jokey gift of heart shaped short breads and a large bar of dairy milk. He gave me a bottle of my favourite red wine and a candle with the words 'I know you can't breathe for work at the moment but this is so you can take 30 minutes out tonight once the kids are in bed and I'll run you a hot bath and you can have a soak with a glass of wine and the candle on'.

Now that is what I call thinking outside the box, doing something entirely for me, something he knows I will appreciate. Simple, inexpensive, uncommercialised but exactly right.

Saturday, 11 February 2012

Grooving mums

I try and take part in this each week since it has started and it has been a huge help - at the beginning of my grooving mum's journey I was just plodding but aware that I needed to find me again and Grooving mum;s was exactly what I needed, each week it gave me a target to met with Kate's little challenges and it was great, it made me think about what I was doing, what I could do for me, and made me make more time to do it, and of course it was great reporting back and sharing, however since it has started a lot has happened both on a personal level and on a work front and my confidence has plummeted to an all time low and I am now struggling. I am struggling with things like responding to Grooving mum's as my groove has deserted me, gone AWOL and could possibly be found sunning itself on a remote desert island having the time of its life without me. I wish it would come home soon! Reasons to be Cheerful is another link I enjoy doing as it also makes you appreciate what you have especially on a bad week but this is eluding me as well at the mo.

None the less, I am still going to try and respond to both as I think now it is more important than ever to try and evaluate exactly what I do have and what is good and to remind myself.

I apologise though if this post is not upbeat and fabulous and all my posts of late are bit deary and depressing. I have recently lost 2 followers and to be fair it doesn't surprise me in the least. So onto the challenges

1. Body – What are you looking at? What can you see differently? On a practical level, how is your eyesight and eye health?
My eyesight is shocking and has been all my life, I get free eye tests my eye sight is that bad! The expression can't see beyond the end of your nose, is very apt for me! I wear contact lenses, refuse to be seen in glasses as despite the thinner lenses I still look like I am wearing coke bottle bottoms. In fact yesterday a friend came round very early to look at our boiler (another story) and I saw him pull into the drive, knew I didn't have time to get up stairs, so hid my glasses in my pocket and opened the door blind, let him in, and pointed him in the right direction and then put my lenses in! Vain I know. I am due an eye test next month but don;t expect any change! As for my body, it is a bit of a derelict temple, I am meant to be running but with the ice and snow and too much work this hasn't been happening recently, the last few days I haven't had much appetite and I need to address this as I am having  1 piece of cheese on toast and then picking at my dinner, or yesterday I had a bowl of porridge and then a curry about 9.00 and that was it all day.

2. Mind – How is your mental health? Are you stuck or if you think really hard, can you find ways to improve things for yourself? What can others do to help you?
This is really bad at the moment, I have really plummeted. I know what the root cause is which I guess is a step in the right direction but I have well and truly let it all crash in on me and am struggling to cope at the moment. I seem to be making a right royal f up of everything right now, I can;t keep on top of the PTA duties at school, I can't keep on top on every day life like the washing and ironing and I can't keep on top of work.

I am self employed but get all my work from 1 client. I ran a meeting with them last week and I had said I would be there for 9ish, I arrived at 9.15 due to traffic and the fact people kept ringing me from the airport asking where their drivers were so I kept having to pull over to find numbers and call people. The MD was already there and didn't seem too pleased when I arrived. I then noticed a mistake on the participant's list, this was corrected, reprinted and dealt with but shouldn't of really happened. She then  told me she hadn't got the most recent slides, I said they were on the server and she responded with 'they weren't last night' as if I was lying. I showed her where they were and later in the day she admitted she had not looked on the server but looked somewhere different. After the evening dinner she indicated we needed to do some work so I went back to the meeting room, and she never came and was next door playing monopoly with the attendees. I popped through to ask a few questions and wasn't asked to join them so I ended up sat alone for 3 hours working until 11pm.

The next morning the meeting started at 8.30 so I got to the meeting room at 7.30am and her and the other lady helping run the meeting were already there - I got quite a surly good morning when I walked in. What bloody time did they want me. I just didn't seem to do anything right. At the end they both said bye but neither said well done, or it went well to me or anything. I got the very strong impression I wasn't flavour of the month. I also overheard a conversation about other work which needed doing and this would be work I would normally do, but I overheard them saying about it and then the MD said well bearing in mind our previous conversation maybe we should ask B to do it as she is very quiet at the moment. I wouldn't have the capacity anyway a the mo to take it on and maybe they knew this but why didnt they say well seeing as though RP is busy with X, Y and Z at the mo, maybe we should ask B to do it. This has got me really paranoid, what was their previous converation - I suspect it was I am always meeting deadlines right at the last minute and struggle to turn work around quickly which is true, my attention to detail also needs a lot of attention as I am rushing things so much.

Now to add to it emails since then meeting have all been quite abrupt. I have now discovered that I haven't changed a slide that has gone to the major client as the MD requested - this was based on the other woman telling me not to worry about it. What do I do, do I admit I haven't done it, hope that it is OK, update it and contact the major client direct and ask her to use the new deck or ring the MD and tell her? t'husband has told me I need to cover my back and get some back up work which although a sensible suggestion hasn't helped. I think this MD is so pissed off with me for one reason or another that whatever I do she will find fault with and this could be a tipping point for her. She goes on holiday today - so do I wait until she is back and in a better mood.

Anyhow I have shed many tears in the last hour over this mistake, another indication my mental mood and health is at an all time low - I don't know what to do but I have booked an appointment at the doctors, it is for after half term so 10 days away and I am now wondering if I should try and bring it forward?

3. Spirit – What memories are you making? What would you like your legacy to be?
We always try and do fun things with the kids, like last weekend I charged round with them and had a snowball fight, we took them sledging, we take them to lots of different places, I hope they grow up with fond memories of this, also of a happy, secure home.

4. Blogging – Do you think people miss you when you don’t blog? What can you learn from that?
Although I get some lovely comments and very supportive ones I am unsure what people think of my blog. I think my writing is very stodgy, long winded, not to the point and in short very boring! I have just lost 2 followers which is an indication it is not very interesting to all!

5. Special Days – Valentine’s Day is a week away. Do you acknowledge it? How do you show love on that day or all year round? Who loves you?
We don't often do much for Valentine's day, occasionally t;husband will get me flowers and surprise me but it is not every year. We always do the card thing but never the presents, we sometimes may got for a meal but again not often.

6. The Big Question – This is the challenge that is supposed to help you to reflect deeply. This week’s is …
What good are you doing?
Not sure at the moment, being a good mum to my boys and loving them.

7. Who Am I? This is a huge question and one I am trying to figure out right now.

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Grooving mums another late entry

And again she comes screeching in at the last minutes at breakneck speed or maybe I am just plan late this week!  No worries I am still going to answer the questions from last week!

I am very up and down at the moment, my mood is changing constantly. It doesn't help that I am still very busy with work and don;t have a moment spare between that, the dog and the kids, oh and lets not forget t'husband.

But I am trying my best to get myself on the up. I am going to make myself a doctors appointment and see if I can get a referral to help me deal with things. I don't think antidepressants are the answer, I need to talk to someone I think but feel happier for having reached this conclusion and also admitting to myself I need to see someone.

I also literally blitzed the house on Sunday after a good few hours sledging with the boys and I feel so much better for once again having a house that looks nice and clean and tidy. I got half of upstairs done but I am on a role now and intend to blitz the rest of upstairs this weekend.

So to the questions for last week:

1. Body – Sign up to do a Sports Relief Mile.  Check out

I might do this but I am currently meant to be training for a half marathon so I am not sure, mind you if I did the sports relief mile then it would give me an idea of how fast I could run a mile!

2. Mind – Do you have a favourite artist?  Would you like to know more about art?  How can you incorporate more art in your life?  Blog about it and tell us more.
II don't have a favourite artist as such, I use to like Salvador Dali when at school but that might of been more of a following the trend thing than anything else! However I recently went to Rome which I STILL need to blog about and was pretty impressed by the Vatican and the Sistine chapel, the art in there was something else, it is not just pictures, it is whole roofs, and walls everywhere. It is amazing and of course there is Michelangelo's and Raphael etc. If I wasn't at a meeting and had the photos on me I would post some here and might well add some at a later stage.

3. Spirit – Have you ever meditated or found other ways to calm the soul?  Is this something you might like to investigate further?  Tell us about it and then we can all learn new methods that might work for us.
I use to do yoga many years ago and found it very relaxing and often use the relaxation techniques as I get into bed at night, is very relaxing and very good for you

4. Blogging – You are a woman and you will have women in your world, alive or dead, who matter to you.  Why not write 90 words (or more or less) about her and link up to this charity blog hop for Breakthrough Breast Cancer? Click here to take part or to read stories of some rather wonderful women
I did this which you can read about here is interested although I did not follow the same idea as everyone else!
5. Special Days – It is National Storytelling Week and you can find out more here  Why not ring the changes and write up a short story on your blog?
Not sure I could write a short story I seem to lack in the imagination front and I feel my writing is very waffly and stodgy as it is! I wouldn't want to bore people!!
6. The Big Question – Who are you?  Take this as you will.  Blog about who you are or perhaps write an “About Me” page for your blog.  Is it easy or challenging to say who you are?  What can you learn from that?
I might have to write this another time, it is a question I have been pondering all week and I keep changing my mind depending on what kind of day I am having. I am at a meeting right now (it is 11pm so I am not doing this in the middle of the meeting by the way), and I am not 100% sure how it went. I was later getting here than intended but only becos my phone kept ringing and I kept having to pull over to check the attendees flight times transfer details and chase drivers to find out where they were but the MD made it her before me and didn't seem too impressed it was 9.10 when I arrived (the meeting didn't start until 1pm so I wasn't exactly late). She then told me she had the wrong slides and I hadn't put the updated ones on the server - I had but felt the need to prove it to her especially when she said they weren't there last night - she then admitted to looking in the wrong place. She has been abit

So that's it for me!

Thursday, 2 February 2012

Reasons to be Cheerful

I am writing a very quick, sneaky post (I have banned myself from blogger at the moment as I have too much work on) to link up with Michelle over at Mummy from the Heart for reasons to be Cheerful.

Anyone who has read my recent posts would know I have been far from cheerful in the last week or so and felt things were getting on top of me. I decided for the first of the months, I needed to get on top of it and start out with a fresh foot and so far so good. All the problems are still there but I plan to tackle one at a time and I feel slightly more on top of work today. In the past I have found R2BC always makes you think of the positives which is something I am trying to do daily so here are my reasons this week.

  1. My Little Man is astounding us. The second week of January he came home very proud of himself as he had moved up a reading level. reading has proved very difficult for him with him being on the same level for the whole of year 2, then in September he eventually moved up so to go to another level in January was a huge step. Well, the clever little sausage has only managed it again. In less than a month they have decided he can move to yet the next level! 3 levels since the start of year 3 - I am bursting at the seams with pride. It seems the reading switch has been flicked and he has taken off as we always knew he would.
  2. I have won a prize on Michelle's giveaway and it is just perfect - a voucher for a half day spa treatment and I can't wait. I need to take some time out and relax and I couldn't think of a more prefect way - I am very excited about this.
  3. I have received some really lovely support over the past week or so from fellow bloggers, words of encouragement, lots of comments to make me feel less lonely and miserable and it means a hell of a lot, so thank you x
  4. Last week I had a meeting out in Rome but got a morning to go off and sightsee, I have always wanted to go to Rome and I was not disappointed. I managed a whirlwind tour of the Vatican, the Sistine Chapel (wow), St Peter's Basilica, lots of ruins, the Spanish Steps and the Coliseum although I wasn't allowed in the Coliseum as I had my trolley dolly suitcase with me and there was nowhere to leave it so I was a little disappointed but it was amazing. I will do a post on it soon.
  5. I had an email last week from a very old friend who I have not heard from for a couple of years, and this year when sending her her Christmas card wondered if it was worth bothering as I had had no response for 3 years or so. It is so nice hearing her news although some of it was tinged with sadness but it is good to be back in touch.
  6. Next week I am down South and have the opportunity to catch up with another good friend which I am really looking forwards to
  7. Not sure this is a reason but I have almost come to the decision that I may need to say No to a few things and hand over the reins - i simply am not superwoman and have to be realistic. I hate to give up on things but there is no point in doing a half job.
As I need to get on with work I think that is plenty of things to feel cheerful about! Pop over the Mummyfromtheheart to take part or read everyone elses entries.

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Today is a new day

Today I have had a pretty rubbish day, I have felt very low, cried at anything and everything possible and generally felt very overwhelmed, lonely and not coping. I have not felt like this for a long, long time. How has it crept up on me, I am unsure. I think I know what has triggered it and I obviously have not dealt with it as well as I think I have.

I know I have got to take one thing at a time, and that has to be work, because if that doesn't come first then I don't get paid (family come first but that goes without saying).

I can't see the woods for the trees with work at the moment and am doing everything possible to avoid it or lose my concentration. I start something then have to go and look something up but it is enough to side track me and that's it, I am gone from work for ages.  I am writing this Tues night to post Wednesday and am going to ban myself from checking the blog or my email or looking at any other blogs until I have gone through my work.

After next week I may have a few days to regenerate before the next wave of things at the end of half term which has gone from 5 days in Miami to being moved to 4 days in Madrid and now seems to be 2 days in London. This may seem better and in some respects it is but at least with a long haul flight I get time to read and relax. However it means more time with the boys which is great. I need to recharge. If I still feel like this in a week i think I need to accept that I might need to pay a visit to the doctors, as I can't go on sinking.

So onwards and upwards. Today is the 1st February and time for me to pick myself up, try to complete one thing at a time and not 100 and get on top of things and start being nicer to myself!

Wish  me luck