Overcoming phobias in ASD - The Dog

Little Man has been developing a fear over recent months of dogs, which has now escalated into a full on phobia, to the extent he is trying to avoid going on walks incase we see any dogs and if we do, he is rooted to the ground, shaking and crying in fear and it can take up to an hour to calm him down. I am not even talking about the dog being anywhere near him, god forbid if it were to sniff him or approach him.

As we were unsure how to handle it and only seem to have friends with mad dogs, I spoke to both our GP (as we were there anyhow about continued tummy ache which he put down to anxiety), and rang the doctor at CAMHS. Both said the only way to sort it out and stop it developing into anything more major was to actually expose him to dogs and possibly get one, so the search began.

The other week we were told about a 15 month old Labrador apparently very calm, house trained, very good with children, he sounded perfect. The plan was I would go and visit the dog and see if I thought he was suitable, and then we would decide if we could have a trial. In reality it did not pan out like this, as I mentioned here, and basically I was handed the dog on a lead and told to get in touch with our decision.

Dog is lovely, he is very very sweet, I mean how can you not want to love this:

Little Man initially was crying hysterically when Dog came into the house, and then calmed down enough to stand on the table unless Dog was in the dog cage in the kitchen, then he would come down from the table if the lounge doors and the kitchen door were shut. As soon as he heard one open he was back stood on the table. 2 days in after school on Thursday I told him it wasn't really fair on Dog and earlier in the day I had discovered that Dog was fine off the lead and very good at coming back (thank god) and he loved playing fetch. Little Man is very fixated on a new club penguin toy and we are making him save his pocket money for it which will take ages considering it is £35.00 and he gets £2 a week. I decided to try a bit of good old fashioned bribery and told him if he could sit on a chair and not get on the table while Dog had a walk around he could earn £1.00. He began by sitting on the furthest chair he could with his feet under him, as soon as Dog appeared he was standing on it inches away from jumping back on the table, but a quick flash of the said gold coin soon had him stood stock still.

I left the doors open and Dog out of cage and gradually Little Man was relaxing. When Mini Man got the rope toy and began rolling on the floor playing tug with Dog, Little Man visibly relaxed and sat down, still on chair but sitting and next thing I know, Little Man is playing tug as well (from the safety of the chair) but Dog was pretty close for this to happen.

Since then Little Man has walked Dog and loves playing fetch with him and although still not wanting to walk by him unless Dog is being held or on the lead, he is happy for Dog to wonder round the house and not be in his cage. We are amazed and thought it would take much longer. It has been much faster progress than we ever imagined.

However I am now the one having doubts over whether we should keep Dog. For one I wonder if he is healthy, he is apparently pedigree and up to date in his inoculations but we have no paperwork and the way I was handed Dog, I don't think he will be going back there if we decide to keep him. I find it odd his owner who is apparently devastated about geting rid of him has not cotacted me once, it has corssed my mind we may never get in contact with her again.

He is also wormed and flea'd but seems very thin, smelly, and keeps scratching himself in the same place. I have bathed him and he does smell better but before we make a final decision will take him to the vets.

He has clearly never been walked on a lead and needs alot of work on that. He goes on long walks and doesn't do anything and as soon as we get home, asks to go in the garden and goes immediately. More over, I think it has just hit me what having a Dog means, it is like another child, and do we want that? I like the idea of having a Dog but the reality, I am not so sure. I can no longer sit on the beanbag on the floor and watch TV, he is on me. He disturbs us watching TV, we obviously need to walk him which is going to fall on me, do I really have time? I struggle to do anything I want to do in the time I have let alone walk a dog 2 or 3 times aday.

Argggh decisions. I know if we don't keep Dog Mini Man will be heartbroken and we would probably lose all the good work that Dog has done with Little Man. I am being selfish knowing it will all fall on me. I am also worried about when I am away with work - who will walk Dog, without his inoculation papers no dog walker will take him and I go away on Friday until Tuesday night.

I think I need to catch up with some sleep and then I might see a little more clearly.

Fears and Phobias - help please

This is a post asking for help and advice please.

Little Man has been developing a fear of dogs for a while now. We are unsure what has sparked it, but it is steadily getting worse to the extent that today we were out in the woods on the bikes and stopped for breather and drink. Now being in the woods we kept meeting people out walking dogs, and both t'husband and me had noted as soon as we saw one in the distance Little Man was shooting off on his bike and taking a very long winded route round through the trees to avoid the said dog.

Just before we stopped for a drink, we had been going along a path and a dog had walked by Little Man's bike and he had stopped dead through what we now know was fear. He was rooted to the spot and it was pure fear, he was crying and squealing and took a while to calm down. The poor woman with the dog didn't quite know what to do and was desperately trying to get the poor dog on a lead, and apologising.  All the while Mini Man who is shaping up to be bloody Dr Doolittle, was all over this dog.

As a way to calm him down we got over the a grassy bit, and sat down with a biscuit and drink. He was just settling when 2 very old, very slow cocker spaniels ambled up to see what we were doing. They were lovely but Little Man went mental. Afterwards t'husband admitted he thought Little Man had been so scared he had wet himself (he hadn't). The more upset poor Little Man got, the more the dog tried to stick his nose near him.

Thing is he is now saying he doesn't want to go out as he doesn't want to see any dogs.

Its not just dogs though, he is the same with cats. If there is a cat in a driveway he will cross the road and walk glancing over his shoulder until we round a corner.

We simply don;t know what to do? What can we do to help him? We are a very active family and do a lot of cycling and walking and try not to drive places that we can walk to but dogs and cats are an inevitable part of each journey/activity.

We have tried talking and going through pictures before setting off and some days he is just wary and seems to cope a little better, but other days it has no affect.

When he was about 3 a dog did nip him, he was bothering the dog and was removed about 5 times, and told off, and I explained the dog would get cross. Little man didn't listen though and it ended in the dog growling and nipping his hand - it didn't even mark. Now he seemed fine about the nip and has been around loads of dogs since and never shown any fear. We have talked to him about this minute nip he got and he says he remember it and he knows it was because he was pulling the dog's ears and poking its face, and like I say suddenly at the age of 7 he has gone from being fine around dogs to being petrified. My brother nearly lost half his face as a 3 year old and he doesn't especially like dogs but ever since that day has always shown a dislike to them, and just been wary but it's nothing like this.

His fear is like something I have not encountered before, he is pure and simply petrified.

I feel so helpless and useless, I don't know what I can do to help?

My mind keeps running away and saying should I contact the doctor, CAMHS, a hypnotist?