Tuesday, 23 August 2011


I have very nearly not taken part again in this, this week.  I was feeling quite good and was even thinking there may have been a millimeter of difference in the tightness of my jeans the other day but then I go and ruin it all.  Not only had I done my Davina DVD twice, and done a small amount of running and some cycling, I had also been really good with food and when getting a curry with friends on Friday night opted for tandori chicken breast with salad.

But then along came Sunday and there I fell down.We had bacon butties for breakfast which I told myself was fine as we went for a bike ride with the kids, which ended up stopping at a country pub with 2 glasses of rose, a bag of crisps each and I finished both the boys bags of crisps off, a full fat coke, and a heavy roast beef sunday dinner when we got home.  I also pigged on some pick and mix that night. Yesterday I managed to work my way through a whole bag of wine gums, and the worst thing is I didn't really enjoy them but just kept popping them in my mouth one after the other. With each one I was feeling more and more guilty and could almost feel the fat depositing with each chew.

How can I nearly be in tears, and hating myself for eating them, yet still continue? I also had an iced bun which I knew I shouldnt of done and felt guilty while eating but still did it?

Argggghhh, I hate the way I do this, I just eat for the sake of it, have no will powere, feel guilty and then eat some more as I feel guilty to make myself feel more guilty. I don;t know how to break it, and hate myself for doing it. Once upon a time I was really disciplined, really toned and really happy with my body. Those were the days.


1978rebecca said...

Don't beat yourself up - we've all done it. Just put it down to having a bad day and start agin fresh the next one.

Ameliacritchlow said...

thanks for stopping by. Sorry to hear the struggles here. Know them too, but yes, like Rebecca says, put that day behind you and each day is a chance to start again! yay, for tomorrow. :)

Lizbethcole29 said...

Ohhh, I know the feeling. You deprive yourself and then go at it twice as hard when the opportunity arrives. And like you, I just can't stop. Sigh. But put it behind you and move on (Easier said than done, eh?)....sometimes there is nothing better than a day off.

AlexanderResidence said...

Absolutely agree with that old adage tomorrow is a new day. I've been trying thinking Slimmer and it seems to be the only thing that has removed the guilt factor out of food for me. I don't work for them btw, just got offered a free trial through blogging and was very pleasantly surprised.