Recently I have allowed myself to be totally overwhelmed by everything. Recently there have been numerous things around in blogger & Facebook with things saying 'i am not superwoman' and those little notices like postcards to say why or 'You need to accept you can't do everything' and its so true. I have been so manic with work, general things in life have slipped and I have got so worried about when I will fit the work in & be able to do it I have pulled all nighters or got up at 4am just to get peace & quiet with no interuptions from constant emails, a whining dog, the phone or kids. Of course this has resulted in 1 very tired person who consequencely coped even less.
You may ask what I am doing working all hours, what kind of boss I have to overload me with so much work. Well she's a bitch! She has very high expectations, does not accept failure or a poor job & completely beats you into the ground if you don't give 110%. That's because my boss is me. I am self employed. I have to take the work on as I am not yet in a position to pick & choose my work. I may be completely snowed under & manic for a few weeks or a few months in this case but then when I am quiet I have nothing. I am still at the stage where I dare not turn work down incase they then don't consider me again.
The problem is I got to the stage where I was so overwhelmed by what I had to do, I started actually avoiding it - suddenly checking my personal email, reading the ancestry family tree threads that came through about people with the same surname but who were blatantly not connected to me was important 'just incase the advice they received somehow helped me', or a quick game of cards or minesweeper to try & 'focus' me all seemed vital. I would then settle to the presentation I had to do or report to write and find I had rapidly lost concentration and was back to flitting round doing anything but the job in hand. As you can see a massive vicious circle as by school pick up I would realise how little I had achieved, panic, work all evening, sleep for 3 or 4 hours and go back to the sane pattern only another day tireder and more stressed.
I mentioned it on here a couple of times & some really lovely people showed some great support and also offered advice. I have finally taken some of that advice - small things like work for 30-40 minutes, then take a 5-10 minute break, then go back to it for another 30-40 minutes. This was brilliant advice, I've taken it & it works, I achieve so much more & often put off the break as I find myself on a roll. Sit outside for 10 minutes. When I find myself drifting, I now make a coffee & sit on the back doorstep. It works, it helps. Get more sleep. An obvious one but one I wasn't doing. I aim for at least 7 hrs now in the last few weeks & if I need an early start I try to hit my bed earlier. It helps. I apologise for never thanking those people for their comments.
I now see light at the end of the tunnel, suddenly I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. The jobs needing doing around the house, no longer seem out of my reach & I am actually looking forward to finishing the beading on the flooring in the hall & decorating. Not just yet, still 4 reports to do but I can see its not too far away.
All because I finally took some advice.
Who knows a miracle may happen & Mount Ironing that has taken over the whole of my understairs cupboard & is threatening to break free may even get tackled or am I just pushing it too far now?