Saturday, 7 July 2012
Next weekend I am going on a hen weekend for one of my closest friends. I met her a year into my PhD, I came from North Yorkshire, she started a year after me and was from Kent. I remember the day I first met her & commenting to my fume hood buddy in the Chemistry lab that I could hardly understand her with such a Southern accent! That was 11 years ago. We hit it off immediately, neither of us have an ounce of common sense between us, we are both dippy and on the same wave length. To cement our friendship we discovered a shared love of horses, drinking and talking. Once I left Nottingham we spoke at least once a week and an average call would be the 59 free minutes on my phone, followed by a call back and 59 minutes on her phone. She has always been there for me, and me for her. She was one of the first to visit our first son & always called in on her way down the M1 from Nottingham to her parents in Kent. We have laughed and cried together many times. I was there for her when her then fiancé took a years contract in Boston, USA & she had to stay in the UK as she couldn't get a job. When she turned up on my doorstep unannounced 4 months later, my first words to her were 'you are either pregnant or have met someone else' the look on her face told me it was the latter & the hesitation confirmed I knew him (best friend/best man to be of fiancé). She was at my house when she told fiancé. The new relationship had her head over heels, shame the wanker didn't feel the same. He broke her heart, again we saw her through that. The boys loved their Aunty Nut! She has now met a new man and is due to get married. Her job has also moved her to Switzerland. I miss her like hell. She skypes but it's not the same, new man is always in the background, she is busy, I am busy & we can go months without speaking now :( I hate it. I haven't seen her for a year, last time was when I attended a conference in Switzerland & she made the 2 hour journey to me and I sneaked her into my hotel room for 2 nights. I worry about her though. She is head over heels again. New man is nice (DH & I both loved original fiancé but agree it was right to end). New Man is crap with money, he seems to float from job to job, spending numerous months 'looking' for something. They both had their own houses. She rented hers and moved in with him. She took a 10 grand loan to help do his house up, and he then had it repossessed as he was in so much financial trouble and went bankrupt. See why I am worried? He is bankrupt, she has the 10k loan round her neck. His Dad got him a job at his firm, my friend gets a 9 month secondment in Switzerland, she pays for all flights for both his & hers visits. Christmas just gone she got offered a permanent position in Switzerland and she accepted. Now he lives there with her, she works, he does, well not quite sure what, according to Facebook, swim, walk, drink afternoon beers and bum around the apartment. Oh & is learning German. Apparently he won't get a job until fluent and even then may struggle. As for the wedding. Well let's just say I don't think the bankruptcy has hit home. I am one of 4 bridesmaids. The dresses are lovely. Shoes are yet to be decided but she fancies the £150 a pair John Lewis' ones for us, she says she doesn't mind buying them. We will wear them once. We all like the £30 debenhams shoes with matching ballet pumps for the pregnant bridesmaid. As for the guests, it is strict black tie for all male guests. T'husband is going to have to hire a tux. When I (among others) broached the subject to see if a black suit would surfice, groom said across Skype 'I can't understand everyone's problem with this black tie thing, it's only the cost of a suit, people should get over it'. Ok that told me! The wedding venue, discounted rooms are £175 a night, again she recently said to me she was a little upset the best man had opted for the Trsvelodge & not many were staying in the hotel. I then had to admit t'husband and I had booked the local b&b with one of the other bridesmaid & partner for both nights. As for the hen weekend well lets just say I have spent £198.00 so far on train fare & hotel before even arriving. I hope my 2nd mortgage comes through before next Friday as despite needing it, I can't bloody wait to see her again!!!