As I write this I am fighting with myself as to whether I should - sounds a jumbled I know.
I really, really need to off load, to get something out and I don't know whether to, I don't know if I will regret it, I don't know what it will achieve, but to be honest I am pretty darn up happy at the moment and have been for a long time and don't really know who to turn to or what to do about it.
It is affecting everything, if I am on a bad day because of it, I sit at my computer staring out of the window or playing patience avoiding all forms of work as I can not concentrate, so sit and wallow. I can't bring myself to blog, I don't have the time as I am so disorganised with everything, and take 3 times as long to achieve simple thing, so work is behind and I am getting more and more aware if I don;t pull myself together I will stop getting work sent through, in some respects I think it has already happened. Back in February I was working on 2 main accounts with this one agency and was lined up to do a meeting in Madrid in June for project A. Project B is pretty full on at the moment as we are working towards a major European launch in September, but suddenly when I asked about what I needed to be doing towards the June meeting for Project A< I was told someone else had been getting on with it and not to worry about it. yes my hands are pretty full with Project B, but I think A were told to back off as I wasn't coping with w major projects :(
I know there will be one person reading this who is now feeling very worried about me, please don't go ringing and being concerned as my main problem is I wont really talk about it - stupid isn't it? You are probably one of the main reasons I have not spoken about it on here before as I don't want you to worry, I dont want it discussed with me or anyone else (not that I am saying you will go ringing round everyone as I know you wont, but its just like tell one person and I then might tell someone else as the first person kept it to themselves but that 2nd person might not...). I am waffling.
OH flipping, bollocking hell, I really can;t go on like this - saying it, is admitting it, admitting it is facing the bare truth.
Do I have the courage?