I think that sums up life at the moment - Crazy. I don't have a moment to breath, let alone blog.
Since the beginning of May I have been travelling with work, 2 nights in Amsterdam for a meeting, 5 days later another 2 day meeting in Amsterdam, last week a 5 day meeting in Istanbul (thank god I am not there this week), tomorrow I head back to Amsterdam for yest another 2 day meeting, then hop straight over to Copenhagen for a 4 day meeting.
In between all of this I am also doing my regular mummy duties, dog walking duties, decorating the boys bedroom, training for the Great North Run in September and trying to find a reasonably priced gardener to come and tame the jungle that seems to have appeared outside the back door (please don't get me wrong, we are not rich or posh and have never had a gardener before and probably never will do again, but having done all these meetings, we are in a rare position of having a little extra cash and are realistic enough to realise that neither one of us has the time, knowledge or willpower to sort the garden - the idea being, get a keen gardener who wants a bit of cash in hand to sort it out and then we maintain - mmm right, that's the idea anyhow).
I am also in the process of stomping my authority with the school and refusing to be fobbed off and demanding my Little Man's lack of progress is recognised and looked into and I think we are making progress. The SENCO retired at Easter so I saw the deputy and the head and said I was worried and showed them his work books over the last 2-3 years and the lack of progress.
I expressed my shock when the headmistress actually utter the words 'perhaps we need to accept that Master E has reached his potential'- I don't think so love, and I think she regretting speaking them out loud. The deputy clearly got my upset (only someone with very thick skin and a lack of perception wouldn't have done) and said she would see what she could do.
The following week she rang me and said she had done some assessments and we had every right to be concerned (people did look strangely as a jumped around outside the headmistresses office doing a victory dance while chanting 'told you so' - no not really).
Long and short of it is, they have had the Autistic outreach team in to assess him which has lead to 3 visits from them, and an acknowledgement from them that he needs extra help, and I am currently waiting to speak to them having said we wanted to be involved.
So I had better get back on with the work I need to do towards these 2 meetings I need to fly off to, and get the rest of the painting done, then hopefully out for a run and dog walk all before picking the boys up.
Showing posts with label Special needs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Special needs. Show all posts
Tuesday, 4 June 2013
Friday, 5 April 2013
A to Z Blogging Challenge E is for....
E is for Education
Education is something my son is struggling with. He loves school to the point he cries every morning of the holidays as he wants to go, he loves the routine and knows exactly where he is and what he is doing - which is one reason they class him as being on the autistic spectrum. The holidays thrown him, the routine changes and he doesn't like it.
He is very keen to learn, he loves watching science programmes and then trying to recreate the experiments in my kitchen without me there (eek) and he is constantly asking questions to ask about things. His vocabulary and ability to hold a sensible conversation is also good, and in line with what you would expect for his age.
On paper however, it is a different matter. His reading age has been assessed as age 7 (he is 9), his spelling age 5.5 and they haven't even looked at his maths yet but lets just say he is still struggling with the basics and the 2 x table.
Frustratingly, there is little support. He will not qualify for a statement of educational need but he does need constant support to keep him focused and on-task. He doesn't even know his basic phonics, he cant tell you what sound 'ae' or 'oa' or 'er' make, which make spelling impossible for him. His homework is illegible but his teacher still gives him a star and tells him it is a lovely piece of work, well thought out etc, so he perceives this as doing well. While I understand to correct his work would be soul destroying surely they should be looking at it and seeing they need to work on his spelling and focus on common ones he can;t get.
There are reports to show that many children with ADHD are excluded from school, in some cases parents are being told to medicate their child or not send them to school - We are very fortunate not to be in this position, the school is very helpful.
A child in need of additional help should be put on an IEP - Individualised Education plan which gives them specific targets and works on areas of need. From an IEP, School Action Plus can be implemented.
These we have in place however the extra support he gets is dependent on what is available in school as he is not entitled to any specific funding. This for us is very frustrating as he is a bright little man who is struggling and being failed by the system, the way the rest of children are taught just does not suit him, I think he may be dyslexic as well and we are currently investigating this, but in the mean time he just falls further and further behind and there is only so much that can be done at home, by home time he is exhausted, not switched on and has had enough.
Education is something my son is struggling with. He loves school to the point he cries every morning of the holidays as he wants to go, he loves the routine and knows exactly where he is and what he is doing - which is one reason they class him as being on the autistic spectrum. The holidays thrown him, the routine changes and he doesn't like it.
He is very keen to learn, he loves watching science programmes and then trying to recreate the experiments in my kitchen without me there (eek) and he is constantly asking questions to ask about things. His vocabulary and ability to hold a sensible conversation is also good, and in line with what you would expect for his age.
On paper however, it is a different matter. His reading age has been assessed as age 7 (he is 9), his spelling age 5.5 and they haven't even looked at his maths yet but lets just say he is still struggling with the basics and the 2 x table.
Frustratingly, there is little support. He will not qualify for a statement of educational need but he does need constant support to keep him focused and on-task. He doesn't even know his basic phonics, he cant tell you what sound 'ae' or 'oa' or 'er' make, which make spelling impossible for him. His homework is illegible but his teacher still gives him a star and tells him it is a lovely piece of work, well thought out etc, so he perceives this as doing well. While I understand to correct his work would be soul destroying surely they should be looking at it and seeing they need to work on his spelling and focus on common ones he can;t get.
There are reports to show that many children with ADHD are excluded from school, in some cases parents are being told to medicate their child or not send them to school - We are very fortunate not to be in this position, the school is very helpful.
A child in need of additional help should be put on an IEP - Individualised Education plan which gives them specific targets and works on areas of need. From an IEP, School Action Plus can be implemented.
These we have in place however the extra support he gets is dependent on what is available in school as he is not entitled to any specific funding. This for us is very frustrating as he is a bright little man who is struggling and being failed by the system, the way the rest of children are taught just does not suit him, I think he may be dyslexic as well and we are currently investigating this, but in the mean time he just falls further and further behind and there is only so much that can be done at home, by home time he is exhausted, not switched on and has had enough.
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Apparently this is nothing to worry about.....
I mentioned on my post about Reading Eggs that Little man is very behind with his learning and we would like to do more to support him and get him more up to a similar level to his peers.
He is 9 at Christmas and to be fair has only really started reading in the last year or so but spelling and Maths still elude him. I have mentioned it on numerous occasions but keep being told that he is not that behind and his work is very inconsistent.
Anyhow, I am seeing the SENCO tomorrow and am going to take in a sheet of paper just written by him tonight.
He is always, always hungry and generally has his tea (bigger portion than me now), a bath, then a sandwich and beaker of milk and then bed. Some nights though he is still awake and complaining of hunger pains at 9.30 like tonight (he is also stick thin despite eating me out of house and home).
I am in my office supposedly working and both boys were told by their Dad, if they managed to get into bed and not speak until the morning, they would get a treat when he came home from work tomorrow night.
Little Man just appeared, grabbed some paper from the printer and wrote:
He is 9 at Christmas and to be fair has only really started reading in the last year or so but spelling and Maths still elude him. I have mentioned it on numerous occasions but keep being told that he is not that behind and his work is very inconsistent.
Anyhow, I am seeing the SENCO tomorrow and am going to take in a sheet of paper just written by him tonight.
He is always, always hungry and generally has his tea (bigger portion than me now), a bath, then a sandwich and beaker of milk and then bed. Some nights though he is still awake and complaining of hunger pains at 9.30 like tonight (he is also stick thin despite eating me out of house and home).
I am in my office supposedly working and both boys were told by their Dad, if they managed to get into bed and not speak until the morning, they would get a treat when he came home from work tomorrow night.
Little Man just appeared, grabbed some paper from the printer and wrote:
Me: Hello, what's wrong? Are you not speaking to me? (spoken)
LM: Ica not becu I wont get a tret and I hungree (he wrote on paper)
translation - I cannot because I won't get a treat and I am hungry
Me: OK, you go down and get yourself something quickly (spoken)
LM: No, yoo go pliys, cwicliy pliys mumiy sum riyol foob ples (written)
translation: No, you go please, quickly please mummy, some real food please
Me: (writing now to humour him) Sandwich or biscuit?
LM considered both and ticked both but pointed to sandwich.
I then gave him some written options:
1. Honey
2.Chocolate
3. Jam
4. Butter
5. Mud
LM read these, ticked the chocolate and mud, then wrote 'harhar' - so there is nothing wrong with his reading!
LM: can iy saiy bad tues wot bus yoo sey
translation can I ?no idea? what do you say?
Actually writing it on here, doesn't make it look quite so bad, but the image of the actual writing and you will see that I have done well to be able to put all that down
But hey, LETS NOT WORRY, apparently it is OK for a nearly 9 year old to write like this
Reading Eggs is FAB
I have seen a number of reviews for Reading Eggs recently and when I came across a promotional code on 'how to be a domestic disgrace's' blog and BareNakedMummy's, I decided to look it up for my boys and give it a try.
Little Man is very behind in his school work and classed as have learning difficulties, however, as ADHD (which affects his concentration and working memory) is not a recognised disability within the statementing process he does not get as much support as he necessarily needs. Please don't get me wrong, the school in fact go above and beyond what they should provide for him and he gets more support that he should but the sad fact is, it is not enough. He is about 2 years behind his peers, although his reading does seem to be clicking. He will be 9 at Christmas and still struggles with counting backwards from 20, can't get beyond 2x3 = 6 and still uses his fingers to do maths, so anything that takes him beyond 10, leaves him clueless. At times it feels like an uphill battle. It is so frustrating when you sit with him and spend day after day going through something and he then 'gets' it and you think 'yes we've done it'. Yet when he does the spelling or maths test, he gets very bad marks and ask him a few days later and it is gone, he simply does not remember it.
As for spelling, well, if I asked him to write 'Harry Potter flies on his broom, he is a wizard and my favourite character', he would write it 'Hari Potur fliis on his brome, hey is a wisd and miy favurit caractur'. I have not made this up, I copied it from his homework. Everything is very phonetic.
Mini man is now learning to read so he has been learning the basic phonics and basic blending of words i.e. d-o-g dog, l-oo-k look, r-ea-d read etc. It has become apparent that Little man still does not know his basic phonics, when I ask Mini man what sound 'ea' or 'ai' makes, Mini man can sometimes get it and sometimes doesn't but Little man sounds it out as 2 letters 'e' and 'a', there is no blending, no hearing the sounds, so without this it is no wonder he spells like he does. Although his writing can look impossible at times to read, if you take your time and sound each word out in your head, you can generally make out what he has written.
So getting back to the point, I registered Little Man on Reading Eggs, you can read a full description of it here but in brief it is an online reading resource for children to learn to read, but it is individual learning as the child completes the programme by themselves and progress at their own rate. It uses the phonics and sight words the kids are taught in school and I really like the fact it speaks to the kids as they can hear the sounds letters make in a fun way.
Both my boys love it, in fact they can't get enough of it, with both asking to go on it and needing no prompting, nor do they want to finish when their lessons have ended, instead they want to complete the next one.
Little Man seems to respond very well to the computer anyway and as Reading Eggs lets your child complete an assessment of 40 questions to determine the right level to start them on, it is exactly the right level. Little Man's reading age has come up as 5 and a half (as I said he is nearly 9), and although he is behind, I think this age is also reflective of him rushing the test and not concentrating in his eagerness to collect more eggs and move onto the next questions, rather than an inability to actually read.
The programme basically has the kids playing games, listening to songs and they collect eggs and pet critters (which Little Man loves). I think the biggest thing though is it is enjoyable, they don't realise just how much they are learning from doing it.
Although we haven't got to this stage yet, I believe that there are writing exercises and spellings as well, which will only serve to support Little Man further. I don't know if it was set up with special needs children in mind but it is exactly what my Little Man needs, as it takes the pressure off the traditional type of learning and keeps his attention and focus.
We love Reading Eggs and after our trial has ended, I think it would be stupid not to take out a subscription which is not a stupidly high price at £39.95 for a year and subsequent children get the subscription at 50%
Please note, this is not a sponsored post, I am simply blowing Reading Eggs trumpet of my own accord because I think they are brilliant and more children should be able to benefit from it.
Little Man is very behind in his school work and classed as have learning difficulties, however, as ADHD (which affects his concentration and working memory) is not a recognised disability within the statementing process he does not get as much support as he necessarily needs. Please don't get me wrong, the school in fact go above and beyond what they should provide for him and he gets more support that he should but the sad fact is, it is not enough. He is about 2 years behind his peers, although his reading does seem to be clicking. He will be 9 at Christmas and still struggles with counting backwards from 20, can't get beyond 2x3 = 6 and still uses his fingers to do maths, so anything that takes him beyond 10, leaves him clueless. At times it feels like an uphill battle. It is so frustrating when you sit with him and spend day after day going through something and he then 'gets' it and you think 'yes we've done it'. Yet when he does the spelling or maths test, he gets very bad marks and ask him a few days later and it is gone, he simply does not remember it.
As for spelling, well, if I asked him to write 'Harry Potter flies on his broom, he is a wizard and my favourite character', he would write it 'Hari Potur fliis on his brome, hey is a wisd and miy favurit caractur'. I have not made this up, I copied it from his homework. Everything is very phonetic.
Mini man is now learning to read so he has been learning the basic phonics and basic blending of words i.e. d-o-g dog, l-oo-k look, r-ea-d read etc. It has become apparent that Little man still does not know his basic phonics, when I ask Mini man what sound 'ea' or 'ai' makes, Mini man can sometimes get it and sometimes doesn't but Little man sounds it out as 2 letters 'e' and 'a', there is no blending, no hearing the sounds, so without this it is no wonder he spells like he does. Although his writing can look impossible at times to read, if you take your time and sound each word out in your head, you can generally make out what he has written.
So getting back to the point, I registered Little Man on Reading Eggs, you can read a full description of it here but in brief it is an online reading resource for children to learn to read, but it is individual learning as the child completes the programme by themselves and progress at their own rate. It uses the phonics and sight words the kids are taught in school and I really like the fact it speaks to the kids as they can hear the sounds letters make in a fun way.
Both my boys love it, in fact they can't get enough of it, with both asking to go on it and needing no prompting, nor do they want to finish when their lessons have ended, instead they want to complete the next one.
Little Man seems to respond very well to the computer anyway and as Reading Eggs lets your child complete an assessment of 40 questions to determine the right level to start them on, it is exactly the right level. Little Man's reading age has come up as 5 and a half (as I said he is nearly 9), and although he is behind, I think this age is also reflective of him rushing the test and not concentrating in his eagerness to collect more eggs and move onto the next questions, rather than an inability to actually read.
The programme basically has the kids playing games, listening to songs and they collect eggs and pet critters (which Little Man loves). I think the biggest thing though is it is enjoyable, they don't realise just how much they are learning from doing it.
Although we haven't got to this stage yet, I believe that there are writing exercises and spellings as well, which will only serve to support Little Man further. I don't know if it was set up with special needs children in mind but it is exactly what my Little Man needs, as it takes the pressure off the traditional type of learning and keeps his attention and focus.
We love Reading Eggs and after our trial has ended, I think it would be stupid not to take out a subscription which is not a stupidly high price at £39.95 for a year and subsequent children get the subscription at 50%
Please note, this is not a sponsored post, I am simply blowing Reading Eggs trumpet of my own accord because I think they are brilliant and more children should be able to benefit from it.
Sunday, 23 October 2011
Grooving Tuesday well Saturday!
I am really late joining in Finding your Groove Tuesday with Kate over at Kate on Thin Ice.
I love the idea of this blog hop and when Kate started it, I swore it would be one I took part in each week without fail, and I am still determined to do so even though I am about 5 days late this week which is simply through work commitments and not enough hours in the day.
So anyhow back to the idea of Getting your Groove back.
It only takes a mere 30 minutes a day to take time out. For me I have started running which has had a brilliant effect. Not only do I feel better for it - more alert, less tired, I can also actually feel the start of me toning up so I am feeling more comfortable about my body, and I am enjoying the challenge.
Failing getting 30 minutes for yourself, there is always the simple things in life like a little treat - your favourite breakfast, a shopping trip etc.
Kate has been setting a weekly challenge and this week's was to buy some new underwear. On a walk through M&S looking for something for my Mini Man I noticed there was a sale on and I was right by the underwear and I do desperately need some new knickers.
Now buying bra's is a much dreaded process for me (I will do a seperate blog post about my traumas in this department), but in M&S there were some really pretty bra and knickers sets and I love matching sets and rarely get any. So I thought what the heck. There wasn;t much choice in my size but I went out of my comfort zone and instead of the normal skin coloured ones, white or black, I settled on a dual pack, yes one white but the other in 'hot pink' (apparently). Now I havent got the confidence yet to post a piccy if myself sporting the new underwear like Glasgow Mummy but maybe one day. Mind you if I were Glasgow Mummy I would be showing my fab figure off as well!
And so onto next week (which in reality is only 3 days away) but I am certainly thinking of me first at times now, and feel so much better for it, thanks Kate.
I love the idea of this blog hop and when Kate started it, I swore it would be one I took part in each week without fail, and I am still determined to do so even though I am about 5 days late this week which is simply through work commitments and not enough hours in the day.
So anyhow back to the idea of Getting your Groove back.
It only takes a mere 30 minutes a day to take time out. For me I have started running which has had a brilliant effect. Not only do I feel better for it - more alert, less tired, I can also actually feel the start of me toning up so I am feeling more comfortable about my body, and I am enjoying the challenge.
Failing getting 30 minutes for yourself, there is always the simple things in life like a little treat - your favourite breakfast, a shopping trip etc.
Kate has been setting a weekly challenge and this week's was to buy some new underwear. On a walk through M&S looking for something for my Mini Man I noticed there was a sale on and I was right by the underwear and I do desperately need some new knickers.
Now buying bra's is a much dreaded process for me (I will do a seperate blog post about my traumas in this department), but in M&S there were some really pretty bra and knickers sets and I love matching sets and rarely get any. So I thought what the heck. There wasn;t much choice in my size but I went out of my comfort zone and instead of the normal skin coloured ones, white or black, I settled on a dual pack, yes one white but the other in 'hot pink' (apparently). Now I havent got the confidence yet to post a piccy if myself sporting the new underwear like Glasgow Mummy but maybe one day. Mind you if I were Glasgow Mummy I would be showing my fab figure off as well!
I tried the pink ones on and t'husband walked into the room, and his reaction was fantastic and he went off to work telling me he was really cross with me as he wouldnt be able to concentrate all day knowing what I had on which just made my day! Talk about a confidence boost and I have got to say when I wear the pink ones, I do walk around feeling really good about myself. Best of all it cost me £12.00 for both sets in total.
The second suggestion was to visit a volunteering website but I simply have not got the time. All week I have been up by 4.30-5.00am just to catch up on work and I have a list as long as my arm of things I need to try and catch up on when I have time such as reading schemes for kids with ADHD, learning website for special needs, ASD info, support groups, and not to mention my family history.
I started this and have been in contact with very elderly relatives, one known to me, another who has found me through the research - both are distantly related but one is an old family friend and up until me doing our family tree none of us, including her knew how our families were related and if infact they were. I have now traced her mother. This lady is 83 and I still have to get my research in some kind of decent written form for her, and I am very concious time could be against me. The other lady never knew her father and he is a direct ancestor of mine and my mum remembers all his sisters but not him sadly, and I have been able to provide her with photos she never had. This lady is in her 70's and there is more I can tell her but it is so tme consuming, I need time to sit and do it. Priorities, priorities. So volunteering is something that is going to be added to the list. I have just filled my CRB form in though to help at the school so don;t know if that counts?
I also wore a pretty short skirt for the first time in a long time, not for a special occasion but just because I felt like it, and again a complement from t'husband made it all worthwhile.
Finally just for me I stole t'husband's ipad and ran myself a hot bubble bath and soaked with a glass of wine while catching up on strictly come dancing which I throughrily enjoyed.
Saturday, 17 September 2011
Back to school woes
Over the past week or so I have red a number of posts from other bloggers with children on the autistic spectrum blogging about difficulties their children are experiencing with returning to school, after the summer holidays. Compared to some of the posts I have seen our troubles are not that big but they still worry me and leave me feeling a little hopeless and at a loss at what we can do.
Little Man has always cried during the holidays as he hates the break in the routine from school. The last few holidays he seems to have accepted them alot more easily and the tears have all but dried up. He was however very excited about going back to school. We did the usual chatting about him being in a new part of the school, a new classroom, a new teacher and which of his friends would be in his class etc and the first morning back (Thursday 1st) he ran into school quite happily. On the Friday he even opted to go to his new classroom alone. This is one area I am struggling with - Mini man has started reception and this means taking him into his classroom which is on the other side of the school. Reception starts at 8.45, Little Man at 8.50 so I don't have time to settle Mini Man and get Little man to his class on time, so the fact he was happy to run over to his classroom by himself was great (he is year 3 now, so just into juniors and most of the others leave their parents in the playground).
Come Monday 5th though Little Man was clinging to me and refused to go instead coming to reception with me and waiting. I spoke with Little Man's teacher and explained he was wanting me to bring him to the classroom and the timing issues and she was fine about it. All week this continued, one morning he was happy to stand with some of the other children and another mum but the other 4 it had to be me. By Thursday he was very quiet, and the whole weekend he was a bit distant and removed.
Last Sunday my parents came down and helped with the gardening (taming of the jungle), we all mucked in, but Little Man decided to sit on the front drive with a hammer and hammer stones for 3 and a half hours. At Sunday dinner which my parents stayed for, he took 2 Yorkshire puddings, a tiny piece of lamb, 3 peas and 1 slice of carrot and placed the meat, peas and carrot in one Yorkshire pud, and placed the other on top then sat looking at it. I took one look at his plate and said he needed more food and reached for the meat to put more on his plate. Now Little Man eats like a horse, he has a larger dinner than me. So this measly amount of food was very unlike him. He was not happy about other food going on his plate, picking it up in his fingers and chucking into any surrounding dishes. As a compromise I said he could eat what was on his plate and then perhaps he could have some more. He then went to pick the Yorkshire pudding sandwich up with his hands. I asked him to cut it and use his cutlery. He said it was too big to cut so I reached for his cutlery and made to cut this 'sandwich'. He went mad saying he would not eat any food that was cut, and I could see him building to a melt down. He kind of does this thing with his face, and starts huffing and breathing deeply.
At this point I focused him on me and asked if he wanted to go into the kitchen with me for a little chat and cuddle. Off we trotted, and he just collapsed on the kitchen floor sobbing. I ended up on the kitchen floor with him, with him sat in my lap just sobbing. It took some doing but I eventually got out of him that he didn't want to go back to school, he didn't like it anymore, and he couldn't do it. This translated to now he is in juniors they are beginning to do proper school work and he can't understand it and 'just wants to screw his work up and throw it in the bin'. He is aware the others understand and he can't. He is aware the others can write and his words are meaningless, no-one else can read them. He is aware he goes out to have 1:1. He is aware he sits on a table at the back with one other little boy who is struggling as well. He is aware the books he is reading are not the same as the other children.
What do you say to a 7 year old sobbing about this? I felt so helpless. I tried to hit on the fact alot of his friends are girls and explain they love to read and write and are always ahead at this age. I tried to bolster him up saying not many in his class could tell us all about gravity and how things work like he can and that the most important thing is that he has the information in his head and putting onto paper will come with time. i tried to tell him how much he had come on and how well he was doing. I tried to tell him about how good he was at drawing.
I managed to bring him down and avoid the meltdown by simply promising to talk to his teacher the next day and also to the special needs teacher. I did this and his teacher was really upset, nearly in tears infact
I am amazed he is so aware of all these things but what is the answer? He is nowhere near even being considered for a statement, we will struggle to get him anymore help, from what I can gather in all my research and reading the school are actually providing above and beyond what they have to provide, so I don't want to bang on too much about it as they are clearly doing so much already.
I just feel so frustrated. I hate walking to school with him seeing him become more and more quiet and withdrawn the closer we get. Dropping him at his class and seeing him look so lost still and unsure of himself. Where has the little boy gone who use to love school, who use to literally skip through the gates.
I want to do more to help him at home but he is tired after school and doesn't want to do it, he gets upset as he has done it already in school, Mini Man interrupts and demands attention all the time and now we have a dog to throw into the mix.
On a plus side CAMHS have organised a meeting for the 19th October to discuss the ASD with the school, and the school have contacted the autistic advisory board to see if they can access any further support for Little Man, but this will more than likely be social help rather than academic, but they are due in to see him in the next 2 weeks.
I wish I could do more.
Little Man has always cried during the holidays as he hates the break in the routine from school. The last few holidays he seems to have accepted them alot more easily and the tears have all but dried up. He was however very excited about going back to school. We did the usual chatting about him being in a new part of the school, a new classroom, a new teacher and which of his friends would be in his class etc and the first morning back (Thursday 1st) he ran into school quite happily. On the Friday he even opted to go to his new classroom alone. This is one area I am struggling with - Mini man has started reception and this means taking him into his classroom which is on the other side of the school. Reception starts at 8.45, Little Man at 8.50 so I don't have time to settle Mini Man and get Little man to his class on time, so the fact he was happy to run over to his classroom by himself was great (he is year 3 now, so just into juniors and most of the others leave their parents in the playground).
Come Monday 5th though Little Man was clinging to me and refused to go instead coming to reception with me and waiting. I spoke with Little Man's teacher and explained he was wanting me to bring him to the classroom and the timing issues and she was fine about it. All week this continued, one morning he was happy to stand with some of the other children and another mum but the other 4 it had to be me. By Thursday he was very quiet, and the whole weekend he was a bit distant and removed.
Last Sunday my parents came down and helped with the gardening (taming of the jungle), we all mucked in, but Little Man decided to sit on the front drive with a hammer and hammer stones for 3 and a half hours. At Sunday dinner which my parents stayed for, he took 2 Yorkshire puddings, a tiny piece of lamb, 3 peas and 1 slice of carrot and placed the meat, peas and carrot in one Yorkshire pud, and placed the other on top then sat looking at it. I took one look at his plate and said he needed more food and reached for the meat to put more on his plate. Now Little Man eats like a horse, he has a larger dinner than me. So this measly amount of food was very unlike him. He was not happy about other food going on his plate, picking it up in his fingers and chucking into any surrounding dishes. As a compromise I said he could eat what was on his plate and then perhaps he could have some more. He then went to pick the Yorkshire pudding sandwich up with his hands. I asked him to cut it and use his cutlery. He said it was too big to cut so I reached for his cutlery and made to cut this 'sandwich'. He went mad saying he would not eat any food that was cut, and I could see him building to a melt down. He kind of does this thing with his face, and starts huffing and breathing deeply.
At this point I focused him on me and asked if he wanted to go into the kitchen with me for a little chat and cuddle. Off we trotted, and he just collapsed on the kitchen floor sobbing. I ended up on the kitchen floor with him, with him sat in my lap just sobbing. It took some doing but I eventually got out of him that he didn't want to go back to school, he didn't like it anymore, and he couldn't do it. This translated to now he is in juniors they are beginning to do proper school work and he can't understand it and 'just wants to screw his work up and throw it in the bin'. He is aware the others understand and he can't. He is aware the others can write and his words are meaningless, no-one else can read them. He is aware he goes out to have 1:1. He is aware he sits on a table at the back with one other little boy who is struggling as well. He is aware the books he is reading are not the same as the other children.
What do you say to a 7 year old sobbing about this? I felt so helpless. I tried to hit on the fact alot of his friends are girls and explain they love to read and write and are always ahead at this age. I tried to bolster him up saying not many in his class could tell us all about gravity and how things work like he can and that the most important thing is that he has the information in his head and putting onto paper will come with time. i tried to tell him how much he had come on and how well he was doing. I tried to tell him about how good he was at drawing.
I managed to bring him down and avoid the meltdown by simply promising to talk to his teacher the next day and also to the special needs teacher. I did this and his teacher was really upset, nearly in tears infact
I am amazed he is so aware of all these things but what is the answer? He is nowhere near even being considered for a statement, we will struggle to get him anymore help, from what I can gather in all my research and reading the school are actually providing above and beyond what they have to provide, so I don't want to bang on too much about it as they are clearly doing so much already.
I just feel so frustrated. I hate walking to school with him seeing him become more and more quiet and withdrawn the closer we get. Dropping him at his class and seeing him look so lost still and unsure of himself. Where has the little boy gone who use to love school, who use to literally skip through the gates.
I want to do more to help him at home but he is tired after school and doesn't want to do it, he gets upset as he has done it already in school, Mini Man interrupts and demands attention all the time and now we have a dog to throw into the mix.
On a plus side CAMHS have organised a meeting for the 19th October to discuss the ASD with the school, and the school have contacted the autistic advisory board to see if they can access any further support for Little Man, but this will more than likely be social help rather than academic, but they are due in to see him in the next 2 weeks.
I wish I could do more.
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Reasons to be cheerful
Again I have slacked and not done this for a few weeks despite it being one of my favourite link. I am quite exited as well to be hopping over the A matter of choice who is kindly hosting it this week as well, so thank you!. I am going to combine a few reasons from last week into this week as well.
- A few weeks ago Mini Man had a bad fall off his bike (see here) which resulted in a 4 day hospital stay and small operation (see here for more detail if interested). I am so pleased that he seems none the worse for the experience and within a couple of hours, let alone a couple of days was back to his normal self.
- The company I worked for before moving back North have approached me and offered me some work with them. I am over the moon as I loved my old job and was incredibly sad to leave them, so to be asked to attend a conference on their behalf and produce the report is really nice. I am working with old friends again.
- Mini Man has taken to full time school like a pro. He is loving it, and coming home full of new things he has learnt each day.
- The mother-in-law came to stay at the beginning of the week and after 16 years of knowing her, in that time relations between her and t'husband have dramatically changed, and my initial feelings of dread at a few hours in her company have brought us round to really having enjoyed her 2 day stay, the boys loved it, she loved, we loved it. It is so nice to be like this now and see her getting closer to not only her Grandchildren but also to her son.
- We have a dog! Well, I think we have a dog, he is here, at my feet snoozing but at the moment it is still only a trial as Little Man has a huge phobia of them and the docs feel the only way he will improve is to have no choice and have one in the house, but if he can tolerate it, Dog is ours to keep. After an initial rocky start with Dog being very unsettled, I am now loving it!
- And finally perhaps the most important reason to be cheerful, exactly 10 years ago today I was sat on my mum and dad's sofa, wolfing down chicken in a sauce and rice, with my hair looking the poshest it has ever looked, chomping at the bit to get my frock on and get me to the church to marry the love of my life. Happy Anniversary to t'husband. The last 10 years have taken us on many, many journeys - through wrongful dismissal, tribunals, loss of parents and grandparents, buying our first home, thrown us into the world of prematurity, heart disease, aspergers, ADHD, special needs, parenting and goodness knows what else, but despite some of it being very tough and leading us to our lowest points personally and as a couple, we are still here today, still laughing and enjoying life, with a lovely home, in the part of the country we want to be, with 2 fantastic boys, 2 guinea pigs and it seems a dog. Life is pretty much perfect. 10 years ago would I of envisioned any of it - only 1 thing. That we would be celebrating this day together still as a couple, that we knew for sure. On our wedding night t'husband and me made a promise to each other. On our 40th wedding anniversary and our 50th if we are still able to, we plan to act out an old Lloydstsb advert which was of an old couple running naked into the sea giggling like kids. Now we are another year closer!
Monday, 9 May 2011
To PTFA or not, that is the question
Little Man is classed as special needs due to his ADHD and the fact he is really struggling with reading and writing probably due to the fact his concentration span which has been assessed as less than 5 minutes. There is also a question mark over his short term memory which they are finding difficult to assess due to his concentration span so a bit of a vicious circle really.
Anyhow Little Man is only 7, and has the first set of SATs looming in the next few weeks, however from what I have been told, they are maybe not expecting Little Man to take them. The educational psychologist came in on Friday and she was really good, I have to say I was very impressed and the meeting will merit a post of its own, however I have to say I am in a dilemma at the moment how to go about this. I feel I should start at the beginning of our journey rather than plunge in, in the middle with loads of stuff about Little Man.
Anyhow small wavering off the path there. I did ask this ed pyshc about senior schools for Little Man as she told me she was actually only covering at the moment and didn't know if she would follow Little Man through which will be a crying shame but we can't have everything can we?
It seems the best school in the town for special needs is the best school in town overall and the one people fight to get into and actually sell and move house to get into. People really do go to extremes for it. It has made it into the top 100 or it might even be 10 schools in the country listed in the Telegraph and also happens to be my old senior school. The downside is actually getting a place as everyone wants their child there. It is a church school, CofE and we are Catholics. Yes I did go there but it was pure luck myself and my brother got in, and we were always told to keep our religion quiet. In the 6th form, the Catholic school which is within about 100 yards merges with the CofE school which caused alot of confused faces for those who knew me thorugh confirmation lessons etc. Infact my oldest friend who I have known since I was 3 was vivibly confused when she came to the wedding rehersal as my bridesmaid and couldnt work out why I was in the Catholic chapel!
So in order to stand a chance of getting into this school the ed pysch said we needed to be regular church goers - not a problem as we are. The boys were at the local catholic primary school in our last town and only aren't there now as there was no space in our new town. It apparently doesn't matter that we are catholics as it is all about being a christian which is good. We need to show we have always gone to church rather than just for the year leading up to senior school which again is not an issue. We luckily live within the catchment area, and the ed pysch also said admission was on a points system, so they liked things like voluntary work, being members of things like the round table or town related things etc.
I am thinking that becoming a member of the school PTA or PTFA as they call themselves can only serve to help this cause, and even before this conversation I was toying with the idea. I could do with something other than being consumed by trying to find myself work, and the kids. it would get me out, make me socialise and meet other people and I do need that. Today the school news letter mentioned there is a need for a new treasurer and vice-treasurer and I am debating applying. Now maths and me are not a good combination, I scrapped a C in GCSE maths with the skin of my teeth and alot of tuition from a friendly neighbour who had a degree in Further Maths. However, i do budget all our household accounts. I am now responsible for all my own earnings, tax, NI etc and it surely can not be that hard. I think my main concern though is time. I would hate to let them down and miss meetings but if I get asked to cover a conference or go to an external meeting for my business that would have to take priority.
Humm decisions, decisions. Writing this in fact, has made me think that I will apply for it, if its not meant to be then I wont get it, simple as that!
Anyhow Little Man is only 7, and has the first set of SATs looming in the next few weeks, however from what I have been told, they are maybe not expecting Little Man to take them. The educational psychologist came in on Friday and she was really good, I have to say I was very impressed and the meeting will merit a post of its own, however I have to say I am in a dilemma at the moment how to go about this. I feel I should start at the beginning of our journey rather than plunge in, in the middle with loads of stuff about Little Man.
Anyhow small wavering off the path there. I did ask this ed pyshc about senior schools for Little Man as she told me she was actually only covering at the moment and didn't know if she would follow Little Man through which will be a crying shame but we can't have everything can we?
It seems the best school in the town for special needs is the best school in town overall and the one people fight to get into and actually sell and move house to get into. People really do go to extremes for it. It has made it into the top 100 or it might even be 10 schools in the country listed in the Telegraph and also happens to be my old senior school. The downside is actually getting a place as everyone wants their child there. It is a church school, CofE and we are Catholics. Yes I did go there but it was pure luck myself and my brother got in, and we were always told to keep our religion quiet. In the 6th form, the Catholic school which is within about 100 yards merges with the CofE school which caused alot of confused faces for those who knew me thorugh confirmation lessons etc. Infact my oldest friend who I have known since I was 3 was vivibly confused when she came to the wedding rehersal as my bridesmaid and couldnt work out why I was in the Catholic chapel!
So in order to stand a chance of getting into this school the ed pysch said we needed to be regular church goers - not a problem as we are. The boys were at the local catholic primary school in our last town and only aren't there now as there was no space in our new town. It apparently doesn't matter that we are catholics as it is all about being a christian which is good. We need to show we have always gone to church rather than just for the year leading up to senior school which again is not an issue. We luckily live within the catchment area, and the ed pysch also said admission was on a points system, so they liked things like voluntary work, being members of things like the round table or town related things etc.
I am thinking that becoming a member of the school PTA or PTFA as they call themselves can only serve to help this cause, and even before this conversation I was toying with the idea. I could do with something other than being consumed by trying to find myself work, and the kids. it would get me out, make me socialise and meet other people and I do need that. Today the school news letter mentioned there is a need for a new treasurer and vice-treasurer and I am debating applying. Now maths and me are not a good combination, I scrapped a C in GCSE maths with the skin of my teeth and alot of tuition from a friendly neighbour who had a degree in Further Maths. However, i do budget all our household accounts. I am now responsible for all my own earnings, tax, NI etc and it surely can not be that hard. I think my main concern though is time. I would hate to let them down and miss meetings but if I get asked to cover a conference or go to an external meeting for my business that would have to take priority.
Humm decisions, decisions. Writing this in fact, has made me think that I will apply for it, if its not meant to be then I wont get it, simple as that!
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