This morning I could of perfectly formed many sentences with unfair in it.
Little Man has been through more in his short little life than most do in their life times. 9 weeks prem, brain haemorrhage's, double pneumonia, RSV, suspected meningitis, strangulated hernias, 4 operations -all before he was 4, behavioural difficulties which left his ostracised until it was diagnosed as ADHD and he started medication which has given him the chance to function and interact much better, aspergers and as a result of some of the above he is struggling with his learning - probably due to a very short attention span due to the ADHD so prior to it being formally recognised he was 2 years behind anyhow, and possibly due to some of what he has experienced. They think he has short term memory damage as well due to the brain bleeds at birth but no-one is sure.
So this morning as we were running very late, I decided to physically help him get dried and dressed to speed the process up. He dresses himself normally and although often needs reminders of which order his clothes go on i.e. pants before trousers, t-shirt before jumper, he is pretty self sufficient and I don't need to pay him too much attention. I was kneeling on the landing having just dressed Mini Man and sent him to do his teeth, so swiveled round to face Little Man. I was of course at about chest height to him as I as kneeling. He pulled his pants up and stood up straight in front of me and all I could see was the fact from his right hip his body seemed to curve inwards and then do the opposite on the other side. I noticed it from the front but it looked exactly like the below.
Image downloaded from google images.
I tried not to make too much of it but asked him to stand straight and tall etc but it was still there, I then checked it again in the kitchen before we left for school wondering if it was the angle I had been sat at but I could still see it.
After school drop off I popped into the doctors to ask if I should be worried, the receptionist was lovely and said they didn't have any appointments but a doctor would ring me. He did while I was still in reception. He was pretty off hand about it and kind of dismissed it saying it sounded like scoliosis to him, and if we felt it was getting worse over the next year or so to go and see them, but then said if I wanted I could make a routine appointment. He made is sound like 'if you feel it is necessary...' I know enough about my science to know while still stood there that scoliosis is curvature of the spine.
well shit yes, I feel it is necessary to have it assessed by a doctor. To me it was very obvious and I can't understand how I haven't noticed before. Thinking back as a baby I remember questioning Little Man's spine and saying it didn't look straight to me, but was told it was because he was so little and not to worry, so I never had, to be fair I have never given it much thought.
I am feeling really, really cut up about this. He has been through so much and overcome so much, and now there is a possibility he will have a deformity. Don't get me wrong, many people have and most do not let it affect their life and get on with it an that is how it will be for Little Man, he will be treated no differently and be brought up to believe he is no different and it won't stop him achieving anything he wants to. But life still seems very unfair, yet another thing for him to deal with. He is not even 8 yet, does this mean as he grows it will become more apparent? will it affect his gait? Will it be obvious in the school showers after PE? Will he be ridiculed? Its easy to say we have to teach him to rise above it but he doesn't always understand and is a very sensitive little soul.
I know I am jumping the gun here, I know I am probably doing the classic thinking of the worse scenario possible and it won't be anything like that, but I can't help it. I have appointment next Thursday so hopefully my mind will be put at rest then. I have had a good cry this morning about it and feel much better for it, nothing like a good cry!