This is meant to be a post for part of Kate on Thin Ice finding your groove Tuesday and yes I know I am late but hey Thursday starts with a T as well.
Before I launch into my wails, Kate has asked we sum up what Grooving mums has meant to us - well I think it is a fab idea, it brings together women who are all feeling the same but perhaps don;t want to admit it out loud to those around them, and it makes us think alot more about us, the real people we are and not just us as a mum, makes us realise we are important. Today I feel as if it is one of the things that makes me realise I need to keep going, to keep that determination not to be beaten down and let things get the better of me.
This week I have the expression 'and the walls came tumbling down' whizzing round my head.
I will warn you now, I am not in a good place so this post is full of self pity so read no further if you wish.
I think I was doing really well with finding my groove, and more importantly some of that old confidence, but isn't it funny how one event can destroy all the good work that you have done in one fell swoop.
I have plunged, and fallen backwards, I no longer feel my groove and I think it is going to take a long time to recover it. It has run off and hidden in some crevice or hole somewhere unknown to me.
I don't want to feel like this but events occur and events mess with your head and events leave you beaten.
I am feeling well and truly sorry for myself, shattered physically and mentally. 2 big packs of pringles in 2 days, biscuits and flapjacks for staple food yesterday is not good. I stopped eating pringles months ago when a friend told me there was so much fat in pringles, they don't even burn and it is true, they don't. But sod that thought when I want comfort food.
Perhaps because of this it is even more important that I do find my groove, that I do find that time for me, do the little things that count - only right now I don't feel like it. Give it a week and few nights good sleep and maybe I will begin clawing my way back, I know deep down I have to.