Sunday, 9 October 2011

Where and when to do a poo!

Really! This is something that arose today, and it is times like this that make the Autistic Spectral Disorder diagnosis that Little Man has seem warranted.

We spent the morning in Sheffield watching some friends of ours complete the 10K Yorkshire Great Run, while t'husband and I tried to feel more inspired about training for this half marathon with comments between us like 'It must be a real sense of achievement to cross the finish line' or 'Look at him over there, he is huge and has managed it' or 'If they can do it, so can we' etc etc.  T'husband went off at one point to take some photos of our friends and left me with the two boys.

Mini Man then decided while standing on a wall it was a very good time to do the poo dance which involves shouting 'I need a poo' at the top of his voice repeatedly while clutching his bum and dancing round in circles. Going for a poo was not an option as t'husband didn't have his mobile on him and wouldn't of known where we were. Eventually Mini Man tired of the poo dance and went back to playing only for Little Man to then stand there demanding a poo as well (he manages it without the poo dance but does manage to be very insistent).

Crisis was adverted with the return of t'husband so I was able to whip the boys into a nearby Starbucks, Mini Man performed, Little Man declared he no longer needed one.

Four hours later we are home and the boys are pretty hyper, so I make them grab their scooters, we pick one of Little Man's little girlfriends up and walk a mile in the rain up to some park area called the Stray to give the dog a good run. The 3 kids are zooming up and down the path on their scooters while I throw the ball for Dog. Suddenly I realise that Mini Man and Miss T are stood by a bench on the path and I can't see Little Man. Between me, the path and the road is a massive oak tree, so I decide Little Man must be on the other side of this, closest to the road (although not too close) and in plain view of all traffic and Mini Man and Miss T.

Sure enough I see his head appear and then his body and he is hitching his trousers up while Mini Man is bawling for the whole world to hear that Little Man has just done a poo.

Not quite believing what I am hearing, I round the tree to see a steaming log for want of a better word. Little Man is asking if I have a dog poo bag, and also toilet paper on me. You know when you are a little speechless and don't quite know how to react? That was me. When I heard Miss T saying only dogs should go by trees, it seemed to kick me into action.

I had to get down on Little Man's level, explain I didn't have any loo roll and it wasn't sociably acceptable to poo in public and why. There are toilets on the stray and although we weren't that close we could of been there in 10 minutes. I then went to get a bag, and turned round just in time to see Dog round the tree with his ball, drop it, sniff the steaming log and chomp it down in one hit. To say I was nearly sick is an understatement. Of course all three kids thought this was great.

All the way home I kept impressing that perhaps this was not the best incident to discuss in school! I then explained it to Miss T's mum who promised she would reinforce that as well.

Little Man though, well his reasoning is that he needed a poo so why can't he do behind a tree?

Little Man has done this before but not since he was about 4 when he dropped his pants in the middle of a playground, I must admit at nearly 8 it has taken me pretty by surprise!


Sarah Mac said...

I shouldn't laugh should I but the image of that dog!!!

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or puke (and sort of did a half way thing by snorting with my hand over my mouth).

Can't see them ALL keeping that one quiet, Id keep my head down in the playground for a while if I were you :)) x

Mummy Plum said...

I've got to admit, I did have a snigger at the point when the dog rounded the tree and gobbled up some early evening tea! (It's the way you tell it!!).

I'm sure this anecdote will be one that lives on for many years!