And here she comes screeching in at the last minute with her Grooving mum's weekly post trying desperately to get it in before this weeks comes out - oops
So this last week has actually been better. I resolved that I had to go to the doctors and sort myself out, I also got myself some St Johns Wart and have been taking it properly and think I am beginning to feel better for it. The doctors was this morning and it was running an hour late. I totally opened up for the first time in 3 years and told her the root of my problem and explained that I don;t think taking anything other than the St Johns Wart will be of help as I need to tackle how I am feeling first. Problem is how can they help, its not quite that straightforward and any old councillor will not do, anything that is more specialised is private and that costs money which we don't have spare, so real catch 22 situation. She was really only interested in getting me to fill in depression scores and wants me back in a few weeks so we can discuss medication. Its the talking, the counselling I really want but hey ho, I need to tackle this so I will go back in 2 weeks and see her.
Last Friday we had a family day out and went over to Liverpool which is where me and t'husband met and did a massive trip down memory lane which was brilliant. We went round all our old houses (much to the distress of the boys!), walked all our old walks, popped into the student union which hasn't changed at all, went into the nightclub bit and that has changed slightly and t'husband dragged the boys over to where the stage use to be and told them that he met me in this exact spot, he was sat there, I came up the steps over there and he saw me and got a mutal friend to introduce us - it was lovely to hear actually. We then hit the town centre which wow has changed so much, it is so much bigger now and really been rejuvanated. Finally we treked down to the docks and had a walk round and reminised about Fred and his weather map and the bonfire night fireworks displays we use to watch down there. All in all we had a fab day out (very expensive as we also saw and bought a new dining room suite but thats another story!), and best of all I think we both needed it. It has really help rekindle some of the old us, made us remember our roots as such and where we came from together as a couple. Sometimes its good to return to the start of things and remind ourselves of the simple things.
Body – do you love or loathe your body? Celebrate the fact you are a mum by posting here http://cafebebe.co.uk/2012/02/real-mummy-tummies/
I really don't like my body at the moment. While I am not big and I know many would say they would love to have my body shape, for me it is flabby, something I am not use to. Until about 4 years ago, I was slim and very toned, now I am slimish but with a flabby belly, wobbly thighs, muffin tops, rolls when I sit down, and I hate it with a passion but do I do anything about it, nope, that cake, or biscuits or chocolate bar always wins hands down.
2. Mind – who is setting the standard? Is it too high or too low?
My standards or myself are very high and I let it get to me when I fail to meet them, perhaps I need to learn to lower those standards.
3. Spirit – take time out today to reflect on lost loved ones and to remember those for whom Valentine’s Day will be particularly sad this year.
This has been done and I did send a text to my best friend who is divorced to tell her I loved her!
4. Blogging – write a love letter and post it.
I am going to do this and post later in the week.
5. Special Days – It is Valentine’s Day. Show yourself some love this week. Buy yourself some flowers or do for yourself what you can imagine the world’s best partner doing for you. Why not? Go on, do it and see how it feels.
I did buy myself some flowers and do so every now and again when I am feeling flush. I have always said to t'husband that I will know when we have disposable income and are comfortable, I would like to buy fresh flowers every week
6. The Big Question – Do you love yourself? If yes, tell us how and why. If not, why not?
It’s time to feel the love, write a blog post and link up. Please share the love by visiting the bloggers who join in and leaving a supporting comment.
I am trying to love myself, trying very hard and think I am making progress.
So onwards and upwards!