D could be for many things and I have spent the day trying to decide between Depression, Doctors or Dating and in the absence of being able to make a decision (another D there) I will mention all 3.
Dating first - I have recently embarked on a new dating idea with t'husband in order to try and spend more time together and get some fun back in our lives and relationship. We have hit a point where all we seem to do and talk is about is either work or the kids. So we have started alphabet dating which was part of my A-Z Challenge blog for A.
Yesterday was date 1 so it had to begin with A. This proved surprisingly difficult and in the end it was a strange plan but one which made us giggle. I had it planned we would drive to the viewing place at the local airport and have a bit of an old times sake picnic (at Uni there was a garage round the corner from t'husbands house and after a night out and a bit of bedroom fun (nudge nudge wink wink) he would pull his jeans on at about 4am and run round to the garage and come back with 2 bags of pickled onion monster munch, a Pepsi, and dairy milk for him, diet coke and galaxy for me and a pack of fruit pastels which we would then sit and trough in bed, and then go to sleep), so I had planned to drive to the airport and pig out on the same. However the freezing weather, snow which I think I may of dreamt after being back in t-shirts today and the fact he wanted a beer saw us in a pub in town that began with A. I wasn't too keen as going to the pub is not something different but this was a different one and infact we had a great night, chatted, laughed and watch the Chelsea game and I really, really enjoyed it.
So next week is a date beginning with B.
2nd D is Depression - I have spoken about depression before. I had a really bad dose of post natal depression following the birth of my second son - it was a horrid time. I look back now and do not know how I got through each day, it was literally going through the motions to simply do things for the boys. All I wanted to do was stay in bed and cry. Simple tasks were out of my reach but if you want to know the full story, I would say read this. I have recently been feeling very, very low again which has featured in quite a few posts as well.
I then blogged quite recently about whether our system is failing people who are depressed - the full post is here but in short it was inspired by a story in the local paper of a teacher who had committed suicide and the family said the health authority had failed him as he had asked for help and was waiting for an appointment and in the 8 weeks it took to come through he reached a point where he could no longer go on. It was incredibly sad. I blogged as I feel many depressed people reach out for help, but after that initial appointment they sink further and don't return to their doctor and no-one follows up. No one flags the system to say 'Patient seen 01/10/11 asked to return within 2 weeks - not heard from them' I know ask secretary to give a call and say 'I understand Dr Watson wanted to see you again, can I book your appointment now'. it can't be that difficult.
This brings me to the 3rd D - Doctors
I bit the bullet and went to the doctor about 4-5 weeks ago now and told her exactly how I was feeling and said I thought I needed help. I was asked to fill in a questionnaire (she was fantastic incidentally, made me feel so much better for going to see her and also wonder why I had held off so long, it was much easier once there than I ever thought it would be). Anyhow I filled in the questionnaire but then I am one of the stats I mention above and have never made that follow up appointment, instead trying to convince myself that I could do it myself and use St John's wart. Well I have finally realised it is not going to work. I am having some better days but not enough to not go back and so I took a positive step and made that follow up appointment today. Its not for another 2 weeks but it is made. In the mean time I think some time off work and enjoying things with the kids, a few more date nights with t'hubby and a catch up on sleep may all help me find that person I use to be.
And as this is about doing lots of positive things for me, my well being and for my relationship I am going to also link it to kateonThinIce's brilliant Groovy mums so if you havent come across this already, I would highly recommend popping over and taking a look x