A-Z Challenge P is for....

Panic!

Right now I am feeling  mild sense of panic. It does keep happening, it is a bit of recurring theme but I have yet to get a handle on it. I will, at some stage but I am just not quite seeing when yet.

My panic is about my work. 18 months ago we relocated to Yorkshire where I grew up so it was a move we all wanted. It did mean however I had to leave a job behind I loved, and although I survived 3 rounds of redundancy in the last year I was there, I felt very secure in my role.

I work in Medical Communications and in Yorkshire there is a grand total of 0 Med Comms agencies making work very difficult for me unless I was prepared to do a 2 hour drive over the pennines each day to Macclesfield. So I bit the bullet, took the bull by the horns etc and set up by myself.

3 months in I managed to get my CV on the desk of a virtual agency. 80% of their staff are homebased, freelancers. We are self employed but if they like you and you become one of their preferred freelancers it is almost like you are working for them as they provide regular work and you take on long term projects. They liked me which was great and they give me 90% of my work.

In between my regular work I have done a few bit jobs for other people. One didn't go well, it was the first time I had done work like it and quite frankly I cocked it up but it was a learning experience. The other work I do is for my old agency which I left to move here.

They have just offered me regular hours as well, not a huge amount 40 over the course of 3 months but its nice to know I am not reliant on just 1 place now for my work, as this will be a rolling agreement.

I am now in panic though. I have so much work I am unsure how to go about completing it all, and the problem is it is all wanted now and therefore my brain has gone into panic mode. I don't deliver and I don't get repeat work. It really is quite a pressurised feeling. On top of this I need to get a handle on the school PTA finances as I was nominated (against my wishes as treasurer) and have no idea what is what. This is going to bit me on the bum soon as my record keeping is not like I would like it to be. I have everything but I need to order it like I want and not like the last person had it. Everything is handwritten rather on the spreadsheets they like etc. I also have an untold amount of work to do in the house, half decorated rooms and finished floors are simply getting me down now.

I need to get off this, find out why the dog is crying and then write a list (and not spend too much time on writing a list!).

Wish me luck x